I have heard it said many times that people always start out with a plant before they get a pet because plants are easier to take care of. If they don't kill their plant, then they won't kill their pet. To me this seems like a pretty bogus idea. I mean yes...a pet needs to be exercised, watered, fed, loved, etc... and a plant only needs water and a new pot every once in a while (and love too, I suppose)...but there's one very important difference between the two. A pet will tell you when it's time to be fed. For example, my dog will bug you and stare at you until you feed her. She won't let you forget that she's there and she's hungry. A plant, on the other hand, does not do that. It cannot talk, it cannot stare at you, and the only way it tells you it needs water is when its leaves start yellowing and falling off. And even that is only if you ever look at the thing. No no, pets are MUCH easier to keep alive.
So I started thinking...which most represents our relationship with God? I came to the conclusion that our relationship with God is like taking care of a plant. Stay with me on this one. Does our relationship with God take work? Yes it does. We cannot neglect this work, either. If we forget to "add water," it will eventually die. Our relationship cannot stand on its own, it won't thrive, and it won't grow without commitment and work. Obviously it takes longer to maintain our relationship with God than to water our plants; we have to read the Bible, we have to meditate on the Word, we attend church where we can worship and fellowship with others, and we PRAY. We should be in constant conversation with God to keep a healthy relationship.
I bet you're wondering now what makes this relationship easier than our other ones. Here's the beauty of being in a relationship with God: No matter how many mistakes you make, He will NEVER turn His back on you. God loves you unconditionally. God is always there to protect you. God's arms are always open. And even though He may not always give you the answer you wanted, God will never disappoint you - eventually you will see that His plan is so much better and way more satisfying than your own. What does God want from you? He wants you to "add water." He wants you to talk to Him, trust in Him, believe in Him, walk with Him and study His Word every day. We do this in our other relationships. In fact, we devote a lot more time to our other relationships and yet, those people don't always love us unconditionally. They won't always be there. They cannot protect us from everything. They'll disappoint you as much as or more than you disappoint them. How ungrateful are we that we neglect the One who will never leave us?
How else is our relationship with God like taking care of a plant? Well, God doesn't always convict us very strongly to "water" the relationship. Just as a plant sits quietly, God allows us to exercise our own free will no matter how much it hurts Him. Yeah, God will tug at your heart. He'll make sure you know He's still there every once in a while. But every day you forget about Him, He'll become quieter and quieter. He's still there, waiting for you, hoping for you to come back around. But you forgot about Him. What's even worse is that you may never even realize it until you see all the dead leaves scattered on the floor. What happened? You let it fail. He was waiting for you. You stood Him up.
What is even better about God is that, unlike a plant, a relationship with Him can always be revived. I have heard such wonderful testimonies, and it doesn't matter how far gone a person goes, God is always there and waiting, and you can build that relationship back up again. Isn't it wonderful that it will never completely die away like a plant? I mean, I really find it comforting that, no matter how much I screw up or how far I stray sometimes, that relationship never fully dies. Even those who reject God completely can someday have an encounter with Him and have a changed heart.
We've been given a wonderful opportunity; the opportunity to talk to, share with, cry to, pray to, trust in, and lean on our Creator. He doesn't distance Himself from us. And while it's not like our other relationships, the ones we experience every day when we see and talk to our loved ones, it still takes attention. He chose not to distance Himself for a reason and that is because He wants this relationship with us. You just can't forget to add the water.
""Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord..."
-Jeremiah 29:12-14
"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
-Matthew 6:6
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
-Romans 8:26
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayer and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."
-Ephesians 6:18
"...pray continually..."
-1 Thessalonians 5:17
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
What Would Jesus Really Do?
I feel a little bad, because it seems some of my Shower Talks are becoming political rantings. My Mother called me an activist so I guess it fits. Que viva la Revolución! Just kidding, kind of.
Anyway...every day I keep hearing "Democrats can't be Christians" or "You can't be a Republican and be a Christian!" Let me be the one to tell you: You are both ridiculous. And I'm pretty sure you don't have the authority to say who is and who is not a Christian even though you try. Shall we check our Christian attitude? Yes please? "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" -Matthew 7:3. What I'm trying to say by this is that I'm embarrassed by Republican Christians and Democratic Christians alike. Do you not know that it's not your arguments that turn people away from Christianity so much as by the way you approach them and by your actions?
Chew on this for a minute: I'm a Christian. I sometimes listen to *some* other Christians talk and I become disgusted with religion. I have to remind myself that, if they're acting in such a harsh way (Notice I said harsh and not radical? We are called to be radically different, yes), they are probably not fully in line with Jesus. Because I don't recall the Bible saying that Jesus went up to people yelling at them or getting in their face or being in any other way abrasive in order to convert them. Jesus taught. Jesus taught lovingly. My point? If I'm a Christian who can become disgusted with religion because of the way other Christians talk, just imagine the non-Christians. What in the world do you think you're doing to them?? Please don't undo my years of reconciling my friends' relationship with Christianity, because I've seen that happen in one fell swoop.
You can argue that you're right until you're blue in the face. I don't care if you're right. You can be right all day long but that doesn't mean you now have a free pass to be a jerk to someone else. We have to be respectful. I would rather listen to someone who is respectful any day, even if they're wrong about everything. If you're a jerk I'm going to write you off immediately and probably label you as ignorant, and I know that's what a lot of people do. It's good you think you're right though. I think I'm right...I think I have wonderful ideas. But no one is 100% right, that's just not how it is. That's why we have checks and balances - because no one is 100% right (or just). There has to be a way to make sure that all ideas are being heard and the best ones are being carried out that will do the most good for the most people. So when you say to me "I'm right and that's the end of it." you just sound 1) Pompous and 2) 100% wrong.
Now here's my thing with debating: If used properly it is wonderful. But you cannot be a good debater without also being a good listener. It just won't work. If you can't be quiet long enough to listen, you won't learn anything (again, ignorance)...and I thought the point of debating was expressing both sides? That's what people keep telling me, anyway. Use it effectively and, if you're going to debate, be willing to hear the other person. It's a waste of time otherwise.
What did I want this Shower Talk to say? Christians: I believe we have a place in the political system. I believe what we pull from the Bible is valid and makes a good argument. The Lord gives us strength to fight His battles. BUT we have no right to judge other people or determine who is or isn't Christian - that's God's job, not ours. If we're going to be the light of Christ, we have to be loving and respectful, not jerks. They will shut us out immediately and I've seen it happen. Please do not turn people off from being Christians because you cannot find it in yourself to be respectful, I beg of you. We have to take any and every opportunity to express Jesus' love and let His light shine through us, don't pass it up.
Biblical verses to express why I believe what I believe:
1. Comprehensive Immigration Reform: "'When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.'" - Leviticus 19:33-34 (And since I've already been yelled at for this I thought I would just clear it up for those who don't understand what Comprehensive Immigration Reform is: making the immigration process better and more effective).
2. Pro-life: "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now CHOOSE LIFE, so that you AND your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." - Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (emphasis added)
3. Supporting the weak (without sacrificing those who've already "done their part" although I don't think it'd kill those better off to help): "'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:35-40
4. Loving others (Republican/Democrat, Rich/Poor, Old/Young, Immigrant/Native-Born): "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
AND
"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
God said it, I'm just passing it along.
God bless...make sure you don't forget the love.
Anyway...every day I keep hearing "Democrats can't be Christians" or "You can't be a Republican and be a Christian!" Let me be the one to tell you: You are both ridiculous. And I'm pretty sure you don't have the authority to say who is and who is not a Christian even though you try. Shall we check our Christian attitude? Yes please? "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" -Matthew 7:3. What I'm trying to say by this is that I'm embarrassed by Republican Christians and Democratic Christians alike. Do you not know that it's not your arguments that turn people away from Christianity so much as by the way you approach them and by your actions?
Chew on this for a minute: I'm a Christian. I sometimes listen to *some* other Christians talk and I become disgusted with religion. I have to remind myself that, if they're acting in such a harsh way (Notice I said harsh and not radical? We are called to be radically different, yes), they are probably not fully in line with Jesus. Because I don't recall the Bible saying that Jesus went up to people yelling at them or getting in their face or being in any other way abrasive in order to convert them. Jesus taught. Jesus taught lovingly. My point? If I'm a Christian who can become disgusted with religion because of the way other Christians talk, just imagine the non-Christians. What in the world do you think you're doing to them?? Please don't undo my years of reconciling my friends' relationship with Christianity, because I've seen that happen in one fell swoop.
You can argue that you're right until you're blue in the face. I don't care if you're right. You can be right all day long but that doesn't mean you now have a free pass to be a jerk to someone else. We have to be respectful. I would rather listen to someone who is respectful any day, even if they're wrong about everything. If you're a jerk I'm going to write you off immediately and probably label you as ignorant, and I know that's what a lot of people do. It's good you think you're right though. I think I'm right...I think I have wonderful ideas. But no one is 100% right, that's just not how it is. That's why we have checks and balances - because no one is 100% right (or just). There has to be a way to make sure that all ideas are being heard and the best ones are being carried out that will do the most good for the most people. So when you say to me "I'm right and that's the end of it." you just sound 1) Pompous and 2) 100% wrong.
Now here's my thing with debating: If used properly it is wonderful. But you cannot be a good debater without also being a good listener. It just won't work. If you can't be quiet long enough to listen, you won't learn anything (again, ignorance)...and I thought the point of debating was expressing both sides? That's what people keep telling me, anyway. Use it effectively and, if you're going to debate, be willing to hear the other person. It's a waste of time otherwise.
What did I want this Shower Talk to say? Christians: I believe we have a place in the political system. I believe what we pull from the Bible is valid and makes a good argument. The Lord gives us strength to fight His battles. BUT we have no right to judge other people or determine who is or isn't Christian - that's God's job, not ours. If we're going to be the light of Christ, we have to be loving and respectful, not jerks. They will shut us out immediately and I've seen it happen. Please do not turn people off from being Christians because you cannot find it in yourself to be respectful, I beg of you. We have to take any and every opportunity to express Jesus' love and let His light shine through us, don't pass it up.
Biblical verses to express why I believe what I believe:
1. Comprehensive Immigration Reform: "'When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.'" - Leviticus 19:33-34 (And since I've already been yelled at for this I thought I would just clear it up for those who don't understand what Comprehensive Immigration Reform is: making the immigration process better and more effective).
2. Pro-life: "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now CHOOSE LIFE, so that you AND your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." - Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (emphasis added)
3. Supporting the weak (without sacrificing those who've already "done their part" although I don't think it'd kill those better off to help): "'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:35-40
4. Loving others (Republican/Democrat, Rich/Poor, Old/Young, Immigrant/Native-Born): "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
AND
"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
God said it, I'm just passing it along.
God bless...make sure you don't forget the love.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Where's The Love?
Ever since I went to Ecuador these two questions have bothered me: First of all, why is it that people who have less, love more? Also, why is the person who has more (or different) experiences more accepting of the differences in others? These questions bothered me in Ecuador because, compared to the people there, I felt embittered and hard, impersonal and cold. The Ecuadorians accepted me with open arms and I still walked through the door with a lock on my heart, unwilling to let people in. In fact, it took probably until the third out of the four months there for me to finally open up to my roommate. These questions bother me now that I’ve returned to the United States because I can see people acting exactly as I did before. Cold, impersonal, un-accepting. I just want to ask…where’s the love?
In case you didn’t know, Ecuador is a Third World country. So…they’re not doing so great. And Presidente Correa? I don’t care for him so much. However, even in the poorest neighborhood we were in, we were warmly welcomed and accepted. I would also like to point out that everywhere we went we attended a Nazarene church, and even in a congregation of 50 I saw more passion and fire there than I have ever seen in a church in the United States. What excuse do we have for that?
I know people have been asking this question for ages, but I just can’t figure out why the people there who have so much less, love so much more. What is it about our “stuff” that makes us love less? Do we really care more about things than people? We would choose the convenience and impersonality of talking on the phone over the closeness and intimacy of a face-to-face conversation. Yes, no wonder we’re so cold. As a person who prides herself on promptness I can say that the tendency of the Hispanic culture to arrive late is not my favorite part of the culture. But I think we have something to learn about their carefree attitude about time. When people come, you start, and you stay until you are done. In church, you start when you have a good crowd and you don’t leave until the Lord is done talking. And then you still stay around to fellowship with those around you. I so badly want to see a church like that in the U.S. I want to see a church that calls on the Lord, no, a church that cries out to the Lord for His presence and His Word. I want to see a church that disregards the boundaries that time creates, boundaries that tell the Lord that if He wants to speak He better do it in an hour. I want to see a church that does not create boundaries for the Lord, and I want to see a church that opens its arms to the community and welcomes everyone (no matter how they are dressed or what their background may be) and says, “We, the church, are so happy you’re here and we love you just the way you are.”
This brings me to my next question. Why is a person with more experience more accepting of differences? I was thinking about this because I’ve wanted to help create the change our church needs. However, if you grew up in a church like mine, you know that change is not easy. In fact, depending on who you’re dealing with, change can be downright impossible. In my mind I keep thinking, ‘If they only knew what it could be like! If they had only seen what I saw!’ But they didn’t see what I saw, and sometimes I cry knowing that they will never have an experience like what I had. It amazes me to see people fighting to hold on to the unimportant things that may turn someone away from the church, with an attitude that will definitely turn people away from the church.
The reason for this question goes further than wanting to see the fire kindled in the church. I’ve also been bothered lately by the fact that Christians here in the United States can be so intolerant and closed-minded. I know that there are things to be intolerant on for sure, but when it comes to humans and human rights again I ask, where’s the love? It is because of my experiences in a foreign country, being a Spanish major, working with Hispanic ministries, and dating an immigrant that my heart has been opened to the fact that - even though they may make bad choices and break the law - illegal Hispanics (and anyone of different race and culture) are people and as such deserve to be treated humanely and with decency. There are consequences for breaking the law, yes. But is one of those consequences making them fear for their life? Is one of those consequences stripping them of dignity, respect, and the most basic rights? I sure hope not.
Jesus said to love your enemies, and what does love require? Patience, kindness, humility, honesty. Paul said it in 1 Corinthians 13, you should know it by now! Unfortunately most people only find 1 Corinthians 13 important at weddings and when talking about romantic love. I’m sorry but…where did Paul specify that he was talking about only romantic love when he wrote that? Unless you have a different translation, he doesn’t say that. He is talking about all love. How should our love be for our neighbor? Patient, kind, humble, honest. How should our love be for a stranger? Patient, kind, humble, honest. How should our love be for our enemy? Patient, kind, humble, honest. How should our love be for even the illegal who breaks the law? Patient, kind, humble, honest. I mean, I’m going off what the Bible says here but hey, I could be wrong.
My experiences have helped me to see differences, accept them, and to open my heart to loving with the love that Christ demands of us. I think we in the United States have a lot to learn about having an open heart. We have a lot to learn about loving despite differences, despite history, despite the fact that we may not even know the person. We have a lot to learn about love, period.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have no love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love never fails.”
-1 Corinthians 13:1-8.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
-Matthew 5:43-44
“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?“ “The most important one,“ answered Jesus, “is this: ‘. . . Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:28-31
In case you didn’t know, Ecuador is a Third World country. So…they’re not doing so great. And Presidente Correa? I don’t care for him so much. However, even in the poorest neighborhood we were in, we were warmly welcomed and accepted. I would also like to point out that everywhere we went we attended a Nazarene church, and even in a congregation of 50 I saw more passion and fire there than I have ever seen in a church in the United States. What excuse do we have for that?
I know people have been asking this question for ages, but I just can’t figure out why the people there who have so much less, love so much more. What is it about our “stuff” that makes us love less? Do we really care more about things than people? We would choose the convenience and impersonality of talking on the phone over the closeness and intimacy of a face-to-face conversation. Yes, no wonder we’re so cold. As a person who prides herself on promptness I can say that the tendency of the Hispanic culture to arrive late is not my favorite part of the culture. But I think we have something to learn about their carefree attitude about time. When people come, you start, and you stay until you are done. In church, you start when you have a good crowd and you don’t leave until the Lord is done talking. And then you still stay around to fellowship with those around you. I so badly want to see a church like that in the U.S. I want to see a church that calls on the Lord, no, a church that cries out to the Lord for His presence and His Word. I want to see a church that disregards the boundaries that time creates, boundaries that tell the Lord that if He wants to speak He better do it in an hour. I want to see a church that does not create boundaries for the Lord, and I want to see a church that opens its arms to the community and welcomes everyone (no matter how they are dressed or what their background may be) and says, “We, the church, are so happy you’re here and we love you just the way you are.”
This brings me to my next question. Why is a person with more experience more accepting of differences? I was thinking about this because I’ve wanted to help create the change our church needs. However, if you grew up in a church like mine, you know that change is not easy. In fact, depending on who you’re dealing with, change can be downright impossible. In my mind I keep thinking, ‘If they only knew what it could be like! If they had only seen what I saw!’ But they didn’t see what I saw, and sometimes I cry knowing that they will never have an experience like what I had. It amazes me to see people fighting to hold on to the unimportant things that may turn someone away from the church, with an attitude that will definitely turn people away from the church.
The reason for this question goes further than wanting to see the fire kindled in the church. I’ve also been bothered lately by the fact that Christians here in the United States can be so intolerant and closed-minded. I know that there are things to be intolerant on for sure, but when it comes to humans and human rights again I ask, where’s the love? It is because of my experiences in a foreign country, being a Spanish major, working with Hispanic ministries, and dating an immigrant that my heart has been opened to the fact that - even though they may make bad choices and break the law - illegal Hispanics (and anyone of different race and culture) are people and as such deserve to be treated humanely and with decency. There are consequences for breaking the law, yes. But is one of those consequences making them fear for their life? Is one of those consequences stripping them of dignity, respect, and the most basic rights? I sure hope not.
Jesus said to love your enemies, and what does love require? Patience, kindness, humility, honesty. Paul said it in 1 Corinthians 13, you should know it by now! Unfortunately most people only find 1 Corinthians 13 important at weddings and when talking about romantic love. I’m sorry but…where did Paul specify that he was talking about only romantic love when he wrote that? Unless you have a different translation, he doesn’t say that. He is talking about all love. How should our love be for our neighbor? Patient, kind, humble, honest. How should our love be for a stranger? Patient, kind, humble, honest. How should our love be for our enemy? Patient, kind, humble, honest. How should our love be for even the illegal who breaks the law? Patient, kind, humble, honest. I mean, I’m going off what the Bible says here but hey, I could be wrong.
My experiences have helped me to see differences, accept them, and to open my heart to loving with the love that Christ demands of us. I think we in the United States have a lot to learn about having an open heart. We have a lot to learn about loving despite differences, despite history, despite the fact that we may not even know the person. We have a lot to learn about love, period.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have no love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have no love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love never fails.”
-1 Corinthians 13:1-8.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
-Matthew 5:43-44
“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?“ “The most important one,“ answered Jesus, “is this: ‘. . . Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
-Mark 12:28-31
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Protecting Your Heart
Every time I log onto Facebook, I see someone’s status declaring their newest state of depression over some heartbreak or lost love. Some people, I have noticed, go through relationships like I go through rolls of toilet paper. What has happened to our culture that we would find it acceptable to have such flings? More importantly, I suppose, what has happened to our culture that we could be so transparent in our relationships? Not that we should not value honesty in our relationships, of course it is an essential building block for a solid relationship; but should we be so transparent that we can be cut so deeply after a week long “relationship?” How can we be protecting our hearts if we behave in this way?
The fact is that we live in a world of one night stands, meaningless flings, shallow relationships, and pointless hook ups. In our fast-paced society, we do not have time to put in the effort for relationships. They are simply too much work. What’s happening now is that we are trying to speed up the dating process. Whatever it is we want, we want it now. The world today runs on frozen dinners, speed dating, the fast lane, high speed internet . . . basically anything that goes fast. Now we are trying to force that into our relationships. We bear our hearts and souls within the first week before any solid commitment or connection is made, which leaves us entirely volatile. It used to be years and years before a wedding would take place. An engagement used to mean that you had found a person acceptable to marry, not that you were setting a date and time. Nowadays we have drive-thru wedding chapels for anyone who might decide to get married on a whim. How romantic.
The downside, we are seeing, is that the divorce rate is increasing (and quickly, ironically enough). Now a husband or wife can divorce their spouse without rhyme or reason, even the day after the wedding. The deserted spouse is left in the dust, their head spinning, not even knowing what hit them. It’s obvious that we no longer have reverence or respect for our relationships. We are making a mockery of love, trampling all over it as we rush off to our newest flame, pretending the next one will not be short-lived, even though we know deep down it’s as shallow as the one before and the one after if we don’t change our ways.
So, the big question, the question we would rather not think about is . . . What does God think about our flame-of-the-week? What do you think God would have to say to you about your constant trivialization of love? To be honest, I never want to have to talk to God face-to-face about my love life, and how much I have messed it up. I may not have had a boyfriend-of-the-week, but I certainly had boyfriends-of-the-year, which was plenty bad enough. What is truly disappointing (and embarrassing!) is that the divorce rate for Christian marriages is at over 50%. And the divorce rate in Kankakee, where Olivet is located? Oh, only 75%. I am sure our lack of respect for marriage (and a lack of patience to wait for the one He has set aside for us) cuts God deep with sorrow.
So really, what does God say about marriage? “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.” Hebrews 13:4. “A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39. While there is still justifiable cause for divorce, most of the time these days that's just not the case. Marriage is a big deal. And the relationships you begin (and end) before marriage are a big deal, too. Relationships are great to test the waters before marriage, but don't rush into a relationship and don't make yourself too vulnerable too soon. God mends a broken heart, but we must be careful to guard our hearts and not give away too much too soon, because that is one sure fire way to end up hurt. And if we treat our marriage like any old relationship, we'll end up in a never-ending cycle of broken-heartedness.
"You cry out, "Why has the LORD abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other on your wedding day when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her, though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his."
-Malachi 2:14-15
The fact is that we live in a world of one night stands, meaningless flings, shallow relationships, and pointless hook ups. In our fast-paced society, we do not have time to put in the effort for relationships. They are simply too much work. What’s happening now is that we are trying to speed up the dating process. Whatever it is we want, we want it now. The world today runs on frozen dinners, speed dating, the fast lane, high speed internet . . . basically anything that goes fast. Now we are trying to force that into our relationships. We bear our hearts and souls within the first week before any solid commitment or connection is made, which leaves us entirely volatile. It used to be years and years before a wedding would take place. An engagement used to mean that you had found a person acceptable to marry, not that you were setting a date and time. Nowadays we have drive-thru wedding chapels for anyone who might decide to get married on a whim. How romantic.
The downside, we are seeing, is that the divorce rate is increasing (and quickly, ironically enough). Now a husband or wife can divorce their spouse without rhyme or reason, even the day after the wedding. The deserted spouse is left in the dust, their head spinning, not even knowing what hit them. It’s obvious that we no longer have reverence or respect for our relationships. We are making a mockery of love, trampling all over it as we rush off to our newest flame, pretending the next one will not be short-lived, even though we know deep down it’s as shallow as the one before and the one after if we don’t change our ways.
So, the big question, the question we would rather not think about is . . . What does God think about our flame-of-the-week? What do you think God would have to say to you about your constant trivialization of love? To be honest, I never want to have to talk to God face-to-face about my love life, and how much I have messed it up. I may not have had a boyfriend-of-the-week, but I certainly had boyfriends-of-the-year, which was plenty bad enough. What is truly disappointing (and embarrassing!) is that the divorce rate for Christian marriages is at over 50%. And the divorce rate in Kankakee, where Olivet is located? Oh, only 75%. I am sure our lack of respect for marriage (and a lack of patience to wait for the one He has set aside for us) cuts God deep with sorrow.
So really, what does God say about marriage? “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.” Hebrews 13:4. “A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39. While there is still justifiable cause for divorce, most of the time these days that's just not the case. Marriage is a big deal. And the relationships you begin (and end) before marriage are a big deal, too. Relationships are great to test the waters before marriage, but don't rush into a relationship and don't make yourself too vulnerable too soon. God mends a broken heart, but we must be careful to guard our hearts and not give away too much too soon, because that is one sure fire way to end up hurt. And if we treat our marriage like any old relationship, we'll end up in a never-ending cycle of broken-heartedness.
"You cry out, "Why has the LORD abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other on your wedding day when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her, though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his."
-Malachi 2:14-15
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A Dry Spell
Well, it's been a long time since my last Shower Talk. I actually wrote one a while back, but decided not to share it. Unfortunately, I got too busy to write and eventually actually forgot about Shower Talk and all the dreams I had for it. However, these writings have really been on my heart and mind lately, so I decided it was finally time to write again.
This past semester I have gone through a spiritual "dry spell," although I would not have admitted it, and I am ashamed to say I let a lot of things and a lot of worries become more important than God. And instead of going to Him with my concerns, I decided to deal with them myself (or attempted to deal with them myself and just ended up with loss of sleep).
Recently I dedicated myself to getting back in the Word and to becoming more intentional in my prayer life. I also picked up a book I read a long time ago, "Live Like a Jesus Freak" by dc Talk in an attempt to get myself out of this spiritual slump.
The first chapter is labeled "Believe like a Jesus Freak." It was very beneficial, of course, and I was doing alright until I came to the questions toward the end of the chapter. The second question asks, "When your faith wavers or discouragement piles up on you, where do you turn?" Well of course the first thing to pop into my head was 'GOD!' But then, knowing I needed to be honest with myself in order to help myself, I took my pencil and wrote in:
Correct answer? God
Real answer: Friends & family
My initial reaction was, 'well crap,' but the second chapter ("Pray like a Jesus Freak") was the icing on my emotional cake. In this chapter there was a quote from Francois Fenelon, writer and philosopher, who wrote a book about prayer. The second paragraph from the excerpt of his book is what I struggled with most:
"But what, you ask, are you to do in times of dryness, inner resistance, and coldness? Do just the same thing. Say equally what is in your heart. Tell God that you no longer feel any love for him, that all is a terrible blank to you, that he wearies you, that his presence does not even move you, that you long to leave him for the most trifling occupation, and that you will not feel happy till you have left him and can turn to thinking about yourself. Tell him all the evil you know about yourself."
I read this and cried - out of shame and broken-heartedness. Shame because I knew all those awful things listed applied to me, and broken-hearted because that is not how I want to be anymore. I also knew that I did not want to pray that prayer because I did not want to admit those things to God, and then I felt even more ashamed because I knew God already knows every feeling I am not willing to admit.
The fact that I don't want to admit these things is just another symptom of my wanting to control the situation. I don't need to admit that my fire and passion for God are burning low because I think I can fan the flame myself. But I have to admit these feelings because the only one who can set me on fire for God is God. And if I don't/won't admit that I need help, I won't see that fire rekindled. The verse I'd like to share today I read in that first chapter and it is Psalms 71:14-15, 20 CEV
"I will never give up hope
or stop praising you.
All day long I will tell
the wonderful things you do
to save your people.
But you have done much more
than I could possibly know . . .
You made me suffer a lot,
but you will bring me
back from this deep pit
and give me new life."
Believe like a Jesus Freak. Pray like a Jesus Freak. Live like a Jesus Freak.
This past semester I have gone through a spiritual "dry spell," although I would not have admitted it, and I am ashamed to say I let a lot of things and a lot of worries become more important than God. And instead of going to Him with my concerns, I decided to deal with them myself (or attempted to deal with them myself and just ended up with loss of sleep).
Recently I dedicated myself to getting back in the Word and to becoming more intentional in my prayer life. I also picked up a book I read a long time ago, "Live Like a Jesus Freak" by dc Talk in an attempt to get myself out of this spiritual slump.
The first chapter is labeled "Believe like a Jesus Freak." It was very beneficial, of course, and I was doing alright until I came to the questions toward the end of the chapter. The second question asks, "When your faith wavers or discouragement piles up on you, where do you turn?" Well of course the first thing to pop into my head was 'GOD!' But then, knowing I needed to be honest with myself in order to help myself, I took my pencil and wrote in:
Correct answer? God
Real answer: Friends & family
My initial reaction was, 'well crap,' but the second chapter ("Pray like a Jesus Freak") was the icing on my emotional cake. In this chapter there was a quote from Francois Fenelon, writer and philosopher, who wrote a book about prayer. The second paragraph from the excerpt of his book is what I struggled with most:
"But what, you ask, are you to do in times of dryness, inner resistance, and coldness? Do just the same thing. Say equally what is in your heart. Tell God that you no longer feel any love for him, that all is a terrible blank to you, that he wearies you, that his presence does not even move you, that you long to leave him for the most trifling occupation, and that you will not feel happy till you have left him and can turn to thinking about yourself. Tell him all the evil you know about yourself."
I read this and cried - out of shame and broken-heartedness. Shame because I knew all those awful things listed applied to me, and broken-hearted because that is not how I want to be anymore. I also knew that I did not want to pray that prayer because I did not want to admit those things to God, and then I felt even more ashamed because I knew God already knows every feeling I am not willing to admit.
The fact that I don't want to admit these things is just another symptom of my wanting to control the situation. I don't need to admit that my fire and passion for God are burning low because I think I can fan the flame myself. But I have to admit these feelings because the only one who can set me on fire for God is God. And if I don't/won't admit that I need help, I won't see that fire rekindled. The verse I'd like to share today I read in that first chapter and it is Psalms 71:14-15, 20 CEV
"I will never give up hope
or stop praising you.
All day long I will tell
the wonderful things you do
to save your people.
But you have done much more
than I could possibly know . . .
You made me suffer a lot,
but you will bring me
back from this deep pit
and give me new life."
Believe like a Jesus Freak. Pray like a Jesus Freak. Live like a Jesus Freak.
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