The past summer was tough summer for me, and being back at Olivet has really refreshed me (spiritually, not physically...physically I'm exhausted). Anyway, today in chapel we sang the song "Even if I Fall" by Mike Cowart and Michelle Valley. I started thinking back on my summer - I started out so excited, I was pumped to start a devotion with the teen girls at my church, and I had plans to do many exciting things during the summer (beyond my expectation to be paid minimum wage, the first failure).
Unfortunately, the devotion with the girls didn't work out, because summers at Chapman church are so hectic it's impossible to have a set schedule. So I had to cancel the devotion. And then beyond work I began to realize I would not do ANYTHING else, besides going to a couple movies (and my sister and nephew visiting a couple weeks). So I was kind of stuck in this endless rut of work, sleep, work, sleep, teach Sunday School (which was great, I love kindergartners). I was sucked dry of everything, and I was sick of everything. Although I will say that General Assembly was fantastic, and Disney World was a great way to end my summer.
Then, I started thinking I wouldn't be able to come back to Olivet, and I started to panic. I was running out of options and I finally flat-out ran out of hope. But when I finally announced to my roommates that I might not be coming back, one of my roommates (Ember) told me about someone who helped her and could also help me. I contacted the guy and started praying even harder...I had no idea what to expect. Slowly (in His time) God started answering my prayers. Now, I'm back at Olivet, and I get to stay (comfortably, without stressing about finances). God also helped me work everything out with my classes...my schedule just fell into place right before my eyes.
I guess I'm trying to talk about something that I've talked about before: lack of faith. Before when I wrote, I was dealing with lack of faith on one specific issue, not with my entire life/future. That was my big test this summer: trusting God with my ENTIRE life. If it is supposed to happen, it will happen. If it doesn't happen, something bigger and better will fall into place. And I just have to learn to be OK with that...maybe it won't happen, or maybe it just won't happen in my time. But whatever does happen, God wants it to, it's His plan. We have to be OK with letting go of the reins. And I do NOT mean letting God step in every once in a while when we lose control. I mean completely handing over the reins and never, never, EVER taking them back.
That's the most difficult part for most of us. We like to be in control of every situation, we think we know everything about ourselves and can plan our entire future, but we can't, we're too stupid (you know, compared to God). And so here's my test for you, and it's going to be a hard one. Write down all your dreams, all your plans for the future, your hopes, your desires, anything and everything you want from a career or a family on down to your dream car. Now I'm going to ask you to do what we always have to do in chapel (and may think is dumb) but I changed it a little so I want you to just do it (and mean it). Hold your hands palms up, but in fists (so hold out your fists with fingers aimed toward the sky). Think about every single dream and desire you have. Now tell God you don't want control over them any more, you don't want to worry about them any more, you don't want them to be your focus over Him. Tell God that it's going to be hard for you to give over the control and you might want to fight for control back sometimes, but ask Him for His help and guidance every SINGLE step of the way. And then when you're ready, open your hands and allow God to TAKE your hopes and wishes out of your hands. Let Him take everything that you're holding onto. And then remember the paper with everything you wrote down? I want you to rip it up into as many pieces as possible, get a sticky note, and write the only plan for the future you need: God's Plan.
So yeah...this will be really difficult, I know exactly what it's like. But I guarantee you the 100% guarantee that if you do this, God will set you free. Obviously you'll have to keep praying for His help and guidance along the way. You can't expect to just give it all up one time and not struggle with taking control ever again. So continue praying, continue praying to God for His direction in your life instead of what you want. It is so, so incredibly worth it.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible...And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
-Hebrews 11:1,3,6
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Being God's Instrument: Role Models
If you think way back into your past (hopefully you don’t have to think too far back for this one), who was your role model? Who did you look up to, to teach you how to carry yourself, how to act, maybe even how to feel? I have had many, many role models in my life, not the least important being my Mother and my teachers. However, I have had two definite role models that have helped shape me and mold me into who I am today, whether they know it or not. And whether they know it or not, I still look up to them and find guidance, even when they’re not trying to give it.
My first major role model is my sister, Tina. I have learned from her how to be confident, and sure of myself. I have learned how to take life for all it’s got and to push myself to go the extra mile. I can have anything I want, and I can be anyone I want. Nothing can stop me. I think she taught me how to be a real woman. I just wish I could be as focused as she is! My other major role model (outside the family) is my mentor (from when I was still in the Youth Group), Mindy…and I hope she doesn’t mind having her name on here. Mindy has taught me what true beauty is, and where I need to find my worth. I have learned through her how to thoroughly and constantly search for God. I know that, even on my bad days, I am worth more than anyone could ever offer to pay, and more than any man can promise to give me. I love them and respect them both. I am very grateful that God put them in my life.
Knowing how much my “mentors” have meant to me, I have to think about my role as a mentor. Whether we know it or not, someone is always looking up to us. We are teaching even when we don’t know it. Someone may be watching our every move, watching how we react to certain circumstances, how we treat others, how we treat God, etc . . . It may be a younger sibling, it may be one of the kids at church, or a younger student at school. When someone looks up to you and respects you that much, you have to be so careful about how you carry yourself. They are so eager to learn from you, that every move you make will have an effect on them.
This summer I am starting a ministry for the teen girls at my church. We will be looking at the book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy (ladies, if you haven’t read this, please do). I am so excited to teach girls what I have learned from my mentors. Beauty comes from the inside out. A beautiful heart and spirit make a beautiful person. And we can achieve this beauty by our love and worship for Christ . . . if we wholeheartedly follow after Him, and make Him our real and true Prince. I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to share what I have learned with these girls, to be able to teach them how to find real worth in a world that finds worth only in material items and sexual pleasure. I hope to be able to help them feel confident in who God has made them, because that is what my mentors helped me to be able to do.
Although not all of us have the opportunity to sit down and talk to those who may look up to us for guidance, we can communicate the important things in other ways. Just by pure body language one can tell whether or not someone is confident in themselves. By the way we talk to others one can tell whether we respect others or if we love God. Maybe you want to have a “little sister.” I don’t know what it may be for you . . . but you are already a role model, whether you know it or not. You can use this for God’s glory, or you can ignore the fact that you are impacting someone else’s life. But I hope you won’t ignore it, you can be God’s instrument to help the youth in today’s confusing and destructive world.
"You may speak but a word to a child, and in that child there may be slumbering a noble heart which shall stir the Christian Church in years to come."
-Charles Spurgeon
"The authority by which the Christian leader leads is not power but love, not force but example, not coercion but reasoned persuasion. Leaders have power, but power is safe only in the hands of those who humble themselves to serve."
-John Stott
"Train up a fig tree in the way it should go, and when you are old sit under the shade of it."
-Charles Dickens
"The most important single influence in the life of a person is another person ... who is worthy of emulation."
- Paul D. Shafer
My first major role model is my sister, Tina. I have learned from her how to be confident, and sure of myself. I have learned how to take life for all it’s got and to push myself to go the extra mile. I can have anything I want, and I can be anyone I want. Nothing can stop me. I think she taught me how to be a real woman. I just wish I could be as focused as she is! My other major role model (outside the family) is my mentor (from when I was still in the Youth Group), Mindy…and I hope she doesn’t mind having her name on here. Mindy has taught me what true beauty is, and where I need to find my worth. I have learned through her how to thoroughly and constantly search for God. I know that, even on my bad days, I am worth more than anyone could ever offer to pay, and more than any man can promise to give me. I love them and respect them both. I am very grateful that God put them in my life.
Knowing how much my “mentors” have meant to me, I have to think about my role as a mentor. Whether we know it or not, someone is always looking up to us. We are teaching even when we don’t know it. Someone may be watching our every move, watching how we react to certain circumstances, how we treat others, how we treat God, etc . . . It may be a younger sibling, it may be one of the kids at church, or a younger student at school. When someone looks up to you and respects you that much, you have to be so careful about how you carry yourself. They are so eager to learn from you, that every move you make will have an effect on them.
This summer I am starting a ministry for the teen girls at my church. We will be looking at the book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy (ladies, if you haven’t read this, please do). I am so excited to teach girls what I have learned from my mentors. Beauty comes from the inside out. A beautiful heart and spirit make a beautiful person. And we can achieve this beauty by our love and worship for Christ . . . if we wholeheartedly follow after Him, and make Him our real and true Prince. I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to share what I have learned with these girls, to be able to teach them how to find real worth in a world that finds worth only in material items and sexual pleasure. I hope to be able to help them feel confident in who God has made them, because that is what my mentors helped me to be able to do.
Although not all of us have the opportunity to sit down and talk to those who may look up to us for guidance, we can communicate the important things in other ways. Just by pure body language one can tell whether or not someone is confident in themselves. By the way we talk to others one can tell whether we respect others or if we love God. Maybe you want to have a “little sister.” I don’t know what it may be for you . . . but you are already a role model, whether you know it or not. You can use this for God’s glory, or you can ignore the fact that you are impacting someone else’s life. But I hope you won’t ignore it, you can be God’s instrument to help the youth in today’s confusing and destructive world.
"You may speak but a word to a child, and in that child there may be slumbering a noble heart which shall stir the Christian Church in years to come."
-Charles Spurgeon
"The authority by which the Christian leader leads is not power but love, not force but example, not coercion but reasoned persuasion. Leaders have power, but power is safe only in the hands of those who humble themselves to serve."
-John Stott
"Train up a fig tree in the way it should go, and when you are old sit under the shade of it."
-Charles Dickens
"The most important single influence in the life of a person is another person ... who is worthy of emulation."
- Paul D. Shafer
Faith in Fear
In the midst of pain and trauma, we learn how much work it takes just to sustain ourselves . . . how much work it takes to simply breathe. When the world is crashing down around us, when the unimaginable happens, when we don't even want to face life anymore, sometimes we find how hard it is just to keep breathing. The unimaginable happened to me just this past weekend. After the shock and disbelief, when reality sets in, life becomes more difficult. The bare essentials take much more work, and forget about doing more than what is necessary to stay alive. It was when I noticed it was difficult for me to breathe, that it was also difficult to pray. When something utterly terrible happens, how do you pray? What do you pray for? How do you form the words to ask God for help, when you don't even know what you need help with?
Because I just experienced it, I know how you feel. It is very difficult to maintain the very essentials of life: breath, and prayer. In our fear and pain, we do not know exactly how to deal with the situation. In our fear we tend to distance ourselves. If we do not know how to effectively deal with a situation, we draw back and refuse to face the world. This tends to hurt us more than it helps us. Although, up to a certain point, it is beneficial to take some time to yourself to let the situation settle. However, if you let the situation remain surreal, you will never deal with it. If you do not face reality, you can never conquer it. If you do not breathe, you will die. If you do not pray, God will not hear you.
The Bible talks a lot about fear, and also about God being our Strength. In last Sunday's service and last Thursday's chapel, the theme for both was "ten ánimo." Translated as, have spirit! Jesus said to the paralytic, "Ten ánimo!" He said to His disciples of little faith, afraid when they saw Jesus walking on the water, "Tened ánimo! Yo soy; no temaís!" (Have spirit; it is I, do not be afraid!) Throughout the whole Bible, God speaks to us, so that we will have spirit, we will have faith, and we will trust Him to take care of whatever trials we may be going through. If you are happy, mad, or scared to death, ten ánimo!
When we have spirit, when we have faith, it becomes more of a reliance on God. When tragedy strikes and we don't know what else to do, we have to have faith that God is in control of the situation, that God knows what is happening and hears our cries. Finally, even if we feel we do not have the words to say, we have to pray. Tell God you don't know what to say. But also tell God how you feel....what happened? How did it affect you? Why are you struggling with it? What can He do to help you, or help the situation? If it's a friend in need, but you don't know how God can help, just ask Him to be in that friend's presence and love them. Cry out to God in your fear and pain, and be real with Him.
Amidst trials and tribulations, depend on God. "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." I'm sure this works emotionally, but you can also allow it to work spiritually. What doesn't kill you can make your relationship with God stronger, if you just have faith, breathe, and pray.
Psalm 23
". . . I trust in the Lord."
Psalm 31: 6
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God.""
-Psalm 31:14
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
-Psalm 46:1-2
Because I just experienced it, I know how you feel. It is very difficult to maintain the very essentials of life: breath, and prayer. In our fear and pain, we do not know exactly how to deal with the situation. In our fear we tend to distance ourselves. If we do not know how to effectively deal with a situation, we draw back and refuse to face the world. This tends to hurt us more than it helps us. Although, up to a certain point, it is beneficial to take some time to yourself to let the situation settle. However, if you let the situation remain surreal, you will never deal with it. If you do not face reality, you can never conquer it. If you do not breathe, you will die. If you do not pray, God will not hear you.
The Bible talks a lot about fear, and also about God being our Strength. In last Sunday's service and last Thursday's chapel, the theme for both was "ten ánimo." Translated as, have spirit! Jesus said to the paralytic, "Ten ánimo!" He said to His disciples of little faith, afraid when they saw Jesus walking on the water, "Tened ánimo! Yo soy; no temaís!" (Have spirit; it is I, do not be afraid!) Throughout the whole Bible, God speaks to us, so that we will have spirit, we will have faith, and we will trust Him to take care of whatever trials we may be going through. If you are happy, mad, or scared to death, ten ánimo!
When we have spirit, when we have faith, it becomes more of a reliance on God. When tragedy strikes and we don't know what else to do, we have to have faith that God is in control of the situation, that God knows what is happening and hears our cries. Finally, even if we feel we do not have the words to say, we have to pray. Tell God you don't know what to say. But also tell God how you feel....what happened? How did it affect you? Why are you struggling with it? What can He do to help you, or help the situation? If it's a friend in need, but you don't know how God can help, just ask Him to be in that friend's presence and love them. Cry out to God in your fear and pain, and be real with Him.
Amidst trials and tribulations, depend on God. "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." I'm sure this works emotionally, but you can also allow it to work spiritually. What doesn't kill you can make your relationship with God stronger, if you just have faith, breathe, and pray.
Psalm 23
". . . I trust in the Lord."
Psalm 31: 6
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God.""
-Psalm 31:14
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
-Psalm 46:1-2
What is Good Faith?
One of the things I struggle with most is the letting go of control. Those who know me well know that I am very organized. I like to have my life planned out, and when something does not go according to plan, Amy is not happy. I like to have it all together, I like to be calm, and all of this is probably part of the reason I am sometimes referred to as "Mom." It is simply my inner nature to take hold of the situation and form it to fit my life and plan. The problem is that I'm not giving up that control to God. Instead of letting Him control the outcomes of my life, I make the plans and get upset when He interferes.
I've realized this so much more since I've been in Ecuador. I had a whole plan, a whole idea for Ecuador. Guess what...I don't have a plan anymore. All my expectations have either been completely crushed or exceeded. I can't plan in the future, because anything they tell us can change, and they don't have a whole schedule for us...how frustrating! What's more is that all the feelings I expected to feel, I don't. There is no way I could have prepared myself for this. And you know what? I'm glad. This experience has forced me to fully rely on God and put my whole future in His hands. Every question about tomorrow, every sickness and loneliness I have felt I have had to pray about and put in His care. You can not go into a foreign country without Him...you'll be lost.
I know what you're saying....I'm not in a foreign country! I don't care. Same rules apply. Do you really think that the plans you have for tomorrow can't change within an instant? Do you really think that you can go throughout your whole life without giving up control to God? Because you're wrong. Eventually, you are bound to stumble and fail. And if you hold the expectation that all your plans are going to be perfect 100%, you are going to be disappointed. Because our plans don't turn out that way. We always make a bad decision, we always lack something, we always need God.
What's even more ironic is that when our plans fail, we get angry at God for letting it happen. Obviously if your plans failed, they weren't God's intended plan for you in the first place. God should be upset with you for not putting your plans under His control and not trusting Him. I think one of the biggest tests of faith is not in praying about health or other things, it's about praying for God to take control of your entire life, regardless of your desires and what you planned for you life. That is giving up EVERYTHING. But God tells us that He has everything under control and we don't need to worry about anything about the future.
Instead of worrying about the outcome, about getting everything finished, or having enough time/money/clothing/food etc...our concern should be on living life today, as it is. Furthermore, our concern should be on the things that we can control (which is very, very little), because worrying about the things out of our control gets us nowhere. God has past, present, and future in His hands. He (and He alone) has control of everything, including those things that are out of our control. So we have to let go, trust God, and let Him take care of it. Our job is to take care of today, remembering that every day is a new day, and every day is in the loving care of our all-powerful God.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:25-34
I've realized this so much more since I've been in Ecuador. I had a whole plan, a whole idea for Ecuador. Guess what...I don't have a plan anymore. All my expectations have either been completely crushed or exceeded. I can't plan in the future, because anything they tell us can change, and they don't have a whole schedule for us...how frustrating! What's more is that all the feelings I expected to feel, I don't. There is no way I could have prepared myself for this. And you know what? I'm glad. This experience has forced me to fully rely on God and put my whole future in His hands. Every question about tomorrow, every sickness and loneliness I have felt I have had to pray about and put in His care. You can not go into a foreign country without Him...you'll be lost.
I know what you're saying....I'm not in a foreign country! I don't care. Same rules apply. Do you really think that the plans you have for tomorrow can't change within an instant? Do you really think that you can go throughout your whole life without giving up control to God? Because you're wrong. Eventually, you are bound to stumble and fail. And if you hold the expectation that all your plans are going to be perfect 100%, you are going to be disappointed. Because our plans don't turn out that way. We always make a bad decision, we always lack something, we always need God.
What's even more ironic is that when our plans fail, we get angry at God for letting it happen. Obviously if your plans failed, they weren't God's intended plan for you in the first place. God should be upset with you for not putting your plans under His control and not trusting Him. I think one of the biggest tests of faith is not in praying about health or other things, it's about praying for God to take control of your entire life, regardless of your desires and what you planned for you life. That is giving up EVERYTHING. But God tells us that He has everything under control and we don't need to worry about anything about the future.
Instead of worrying about the outcome, about getting everything finished, or having enough time/money/clothing/food etc...our concern should be on living life today, as it is. Furthermore, our concern should be on the things that we can control (which is very, very little), because worrying about the things out of our control gets us nowhere. God has past, present, and future in His hands. He (and He alone) has control of everything, including those things that are out of our control. So we have to let go, trust God, and let Him take care of it. Our job is to take care of today, remembering that every day is a new day, and every day is in the loving care of our all-powerful God.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:25-34
Global Positioning System
I don't know how many of you have used a Global Positioning System (GPS) before, but they can come in pretty handy. I was working for my Dad this summer and we were at a job about half an hour away from home in a city I had never driven to/in before. Well, my Dad forgot the table saw that I was supposed to work with that day, and it was pretty important....so he sent me back home to retrieve it. I was a bit worried because I had only ever sat in the car on the way to the work site, and I did not pay much attention to what roads we turned on. My Dad reassured me that the GPS (also known as Bob) would get me home, no problem. The problem comes in when you think you are smarter than the GPS. In my defense, Bob does get confused sometimes and he does not really know where I live (it is kind of in an obscure place) but he does know the general area...enough to get in my neighborhood.
I was driving down the road, and Bob told me to turn left. Well, I looked at the road and it was for sure not the right road. So I kept driving, and Bob "recalculated the route." Then again, Bob told me to turn left, I looked at the road and thought, "Eh....I don't know. It could be, but I don't think so." I kept driving, and Bob recalculated. All of the sudden I'm faced with a curve in the road and I'm thinking, "There definitely was not a curve in the road last time we went home." Needless to say, I had no idea where I was, and Bob had been right (the second time). Seeing as I was lost, I depended on Bob the whole rest of the ride home, and he got me there - or at least to my neighborhood.
If you haven't figured out the point I'm trying to make yet, here it is: God is our wonderful GPS for life. He is there for the weak and weary, the lost, and the overconfident ones who think they already know the way. Unfortunately, if you're like me (the overconfident type), you treat God like I treated Bob. You say, "God, I know You're telling me where to go, but it doesn't look right to me...so I'm going to go this way." It is when we do this that we end up lost and afraid. Sometimes we get ourselves so deep into trouble, it is hard to see the way out. Sometimes we ignore God's direction so many times, we end up in a whole different state. Fortunately, God knows the way back. He will recalculate the route for us so that we end up back in His loving embrace.
Some of you might be saying, "I know where God is directing me, but I'm too afraid to go." I realize that not everything God asks of us is easy. Trust me...I've been dealing with that a lot the past couple of months. However, how much scarier is it to be lost in this corrupt and dangerous world? How much scarier is it to be wandering around in this life without God, without His protection and care? Trusting is really not the most fun thing in the world. In fact, it is one of the most difficult things. But how many times has God's direction failed you before? Now take that answer and compare it to this: How many times has your own direction failed you before? Yes, God's way can be scary, but it's even scarier to walk this life under your own care and decisions.
On the other hand, there may be some of you saying, "I want to follow God's direction, but I can't hear Him directing me anywhere." OK, I feel you on this one. I agree...most of the time, God is not as obvious as Bob saying, "Turn left here." This is something that I have constantly struggled with, and still do to this day. How can I be sure I'm doing the right thing if I can't hear God telling me what the right thing is? This is why I firmly believe that life has to be a constant act of prayer. Pray for your own understanding of God's will, and ask others to pray for you as well. Also, read your Bible...there's a lot of important information in there about God's will for us.
Some of you may dismiss this because "feelings aren't concrete," but much of the time I base my decisions on feeling. I ask God to tell me how to feel, to give me feelings instead of talking to me directly (because I never hear Him). Plus, haven't you ever felt God moving you, from you very gut, to do something? Because of this, I trust my instinct and basic intuitions to make decisions. I know God has given me my conscience and instinct for a reason, so I better not go against them.
Trust is difficult, especially when decisions these days are becoming more complicated and difficult. Some of you may be trying to hear God's voice in the midst of confusion, others of you may think you have everything under control and can handle it on your own. Still others of you may be like me, and have both disabilities. Either way, God is still there and He cares for us - if we can trust nothing else in this world, we can trust in that. What He does for us, He does out of love, and it is our job to do His will and His calling. Otherwise, we will become lost in a world that is waiting, like a lion waiting for its prey, to suck us into its ruin.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6
'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
By: Louisa M.R. Stead
1. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
and to know, "Thus saith the Lord."
Refrain:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!
2. O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to trust his cleansing blood;
and in simple faith to plunge me
neath the healing, cleansing flood!
(Refrain)
3. Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
just from sin and self to cease;
just from Jesus simply taking
life and rest, and joy and peace.
(Refrain)
4. I'm so glad I learned to trust thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.
(Refrain)
I was driving down the road, and Bob told me to turn left. Well, I looked at the road and it was for sure not the right road. So I kept driving, and Bob "recalculated the route." Then again, Bob told me to turn left, I looked at the road and thought, "Eh....I don't know. It could be, but I don't think so." I kept driving, and Bob recalculated. All of the sudden I'm faced with a curve in the road and I'm thinking, "There definitely was not a curve in the road last time we went home." Needless to say, I had no idea where I was, and Bob had been right (the second time). Seeing as I was lost, I depended on Bob the whole rest of the ride home, and he got me there - or at least to my neighborhood.
If you haven't figured out the point I'm trying to make yet, here it is: God is our wonderful GPS for life. He is there for the weak and weary, the lost, and the overconfident ones who think they already know the way. Unfortunately, if you're like me (the overconfident type), you treat God like I treated Bob. You say, "God, I know You're telling me where to go, but it doesn't look right to me...so I'm going to go this way." It is when we do this that we end up lost and afraid. Sometimes we get ourselves so deep into trouble, it is hard to see the way out. Sometimes we ignore God's direction so many times, we end up in a whole different state. Fortunately, God knows the way back. He will recalculate the route for us so that we end up back in His loving embrace.
Some of you might be saying, "I know where God is directing me, but I'm too afraid to go." I realize that not everything God asks of us is easy. Trust me...I've been dealing with that a lot the past couple of months. However, how much scarier is it to be lost in this corrupt and dangerous world? How much scarier is it to be wandering around in this life without God, without His protection and care? Trusting is really not the most fun thing in the world. In fact, it is one of the most difficult things. But how many times has God's direction failed you before? Now take that answer and compare it to this: How many times has your own direction failed you before? Yes, God's way can be scary, but it's even scarier to walk this life under your own care and decisions.
On the other hand, there may be some of you saying, "I want to follow God's direction, but I can't hear Him directing me anywhere." OK, I feel you on this one. I agree...most of the time, God is not as obvious as Bob saying, "Turn left here." This is something that I have constantly struggled with, and still do to this day. How can I be sure I'm doing the right thing if I can't hear God telling me what the right thing is? This is why I firmly believe that life has to be a constant act of prayer. Pray for your own understanding of God's will, and ask others to pray for you as well. Also, read your Bible...there's a lot of important information in there about God's will for us.
Some of you may dismiss this because "feelings aren't concrete," but much of the time I base my decisions on feeling. I ask God to tell me how to feel, to give me feelings instead of talking to me directly (because I never hear Him). Plus, haven't you ever felt God moving you, from you very gut, to do something? Because of this, I trust my instinct and basic intuitions to make decisions. I know God has given me my conscience and instinct for a reason, so I better not go against them.
Trust is difficult, especially when decisions these days are becoming more complicated and difficult. Some of you may be trying to hear God's voice in the midst of confusion, others of you may think you have everything under control and can handle it on your own. Still others of you may be like me, and have both disabilities. Either way, God is still there and He cares for us - if we can trust nothing else in this world, we can trust in that. What He does for us, He does out of love, and it is our job to do His will and His calling. Otherwise, we will become lost in a world that is waiting, like a lion waiting for its prey, to suck us into its ruin.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6
'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
By: Louisa M.R. Stead
1. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
and to know, "Thus saith the Lord."
Refrain:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!
2. O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to trust his cleansing blood;
and in simple faith to plunge me
neath the healing, cleansing flood!
(Refrain)
3. Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
just from sin and self to cease;
just from Jesus simply taking
life and rest, and joy and peace.
(Refrain)
4. I'm so glad I learned to trust thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.
(Refrain)
What Will You Do With Your Second Chance?
There are countless many occasions when I have screwed up. I know from experience that when you mess up, you don't always receive a second chance. Unfortunately, it is when we make the biggest mistake that we need a second chance the most, but don't receive one. My Sophomore year in High School, I had my first real boyfriend. He was just the sweetest guy, and we really cared about each other. Well, a few months after we started dating, I broke up with him. I had gotten scared, and therefore stupid. There really wasn't anything to be afraid of, because he was a great guy. But I was a Sophomore, things were moving a bit too fast for me, and I was afraid. So instead of asking to take things slower, I broke up with him. Yeah, I know, I'm horrible. In truth, I still really cared for him (no matter what anyone else may have thought or told him) and I didn't really want him to stop being my boyfriend. Well, in my attempt to have a second chance, we became confused. We said things we weren't really feeling, and in the end, he found another girlfriend about a month after we broke up. I lost my second chance.
When I think about that story, it makes me all the more grateful that God gives us second chances. Actually, he gives us unlimited chances. I have to say, I make stupid mistakes. I make stupid mistakes all the time, I'm ridiculous. But God accepts me, ridiculousness and all, and allows me my second chance, third chance, two-hundred and forty-fourth chance. God gives us these chances, but it's up to us to accept them. There does not have to be confusion with feelings. You just have to be honest with Him, tell what you are really feeling, and accept the second chance to do better. The mistake I made with my boyfriend, I try not to make with God. When I mess something up, I don't want to lie to Him to tell Him I don't really care. I don't want to beat around the bush and say things I don't mean. I just want to receive my next chance, and move on to be a better person from it.
Thankfully I now realize that my ex-boyfriend and I were never meant to be together forever. But God is forever . . . He is always there and always loves you even if you try to break up with Him. And when you want to come back to Him, His arms are open wide. He is always available, and He is always ready to be in a relationship with you, a real relationship. It is the deepest love, the most sincere affection, the most endless forgiveness. It's all there for you, without the awkward first date. But you do need to get to know Him to appreciate Him and love Him.
So when it comes to your second chance, I hope you learn from your mistakes. What good is a second chance if it is wasted like the first? I "try" to make different mistakes every time. The more experience you have, and the more forgiveness you receive will strengthen your relationship with Christ. But there has to be an effort to make the next time better. The next chance you get might be your last, so don't waste your second chances.
"Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
Ephesians 5:15-16
"...make the most of every opportunity."
Colossians 4:5
"Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."..."
Luke 23:34
When I think about that story, it makes me all the more grateful that God gives us second chances. Actually, he gives us unlimited chances. I have to say, I make stupid mistakes. I make stupid mistakes all the time, I'm ridiculous. But God accepts me, ridiculousness and all, and allows me my second chance, third chance, two-hundred and forty-fourth chance. God gives us these chances, but it's up to us to accept them. There does not have to be confusion with feelings. You just have to be honest with Him, tell what you are really feeling, and accept the second chance to do better. The mistake I made with my boyfriend, I try not to make with God. When I mess something up, I don't want to lie to Him to tell Him I don't really care. I don't want to beat around the bush and say things I don't mean. I just want to receive my next chance, and move on to be a better person from it.
Thankfully I now realize that my ex-boyfriend and I were never meant to be together forever. But God is forever . . . He is always there and always loves you even if you try to break up with Him. And when you want to come back to Him, His arms are open wide. He is always available, and He is always ready to be in a relationship with you, a real relationship. It is the deepest love, the most sincere affection, the most endless forgiveness. It's all there for you, without the awkward first date. But you do need to get to know Him to appreciate Him and love Him.
So when it comes to your second chance, I hope you learn from your mistakes. What good is a second chance if it is wasted like the first? I "try" to make different mistakes every time. The more experience you have, and the more forgiveness you receive will strengthen your relationship with Christ. But there has to be an effort to make the next time better. The next chance you get might be your last, so don't waste your second chances.
"Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
Ephesians 5:15-16
"...make the most of every opportunity."
Colossians 4:5
"Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."..."
Luke 23:34
The Hurt Deeper Than Physical Pain
I have been punched, pinched, kicked, slapped, had a migraine, ran until my sides were aching, split my chin open, had the wind knocked out of me, etc . . . And nothing has hurt longer or more deeply than the emotional pain I have suffered. For some reason, the verbal attacks are more painful than the physical ones. Emotional struggles are more complicated and enduring than when I have to sit out a migraine. Sometimes emotional pain is so strong it becomes physical pain as well. It attacks us mentally so it's the only thing we think about and emotionally so it's the only thing we care about. If you read the last chapter, you know I’ve been through a breakup. Although I had gone through the initial "reaction," I realized it takes a little more time to completely heal.
Shortly after the breakup, I was watching Disney's "Meet the Robinsons" and the end credits play the song "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. As I listened to the song lyrics, it became more and more MY song . . . my theme song and encourager for these rough times. The first verse is my absolute favorite:
"Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder/don't you know, the hardest part is over/let it in, let your clarity define you/in the end, you will only just remember how it feels."
As soon as I hear these words, I want to let go. I want to leave the hurt behind me and move on. I realize again that moving on IS the next step. The song reminds us that we have to keep moving forward. We have gone through the worst part of it (for me, the initial breakup and insanity that followed), and soon the pain will just be a memory. We won't feel the anxiety and hurt anymore, but we'll remember going through it, and what it was like. I know I will never forget how I felt that first night...I told my roommate what happened, laid down on the floor, and cried. She was quite stunned, and I was quite angry. And then, I wasn't able to sleep. I stayed up until about 4 or 5 getting ahead on homework, projects, papers, anything to keep my mind off of life, until finally I could trust myself to crawl into bed and fall asleep without thinking about current events. That night will always be with me. But that was just one night.
My life is right now, and I have to live in the now. Sure, I will still see his pictures and be a little sad...maybe even wonder "what if." But I'm letting it (him) go. "Our lives are made in these small hours." Our future depends on the decisions we make now. You can regret wallowing for months about a relationship gone bad, or you can stop holding yourself back from living life normally and fully. Our past is important because it's made us who we are now, but these small hours RIGHT NOW are even more important, because they will make us who we are in the future. We have control over that, we can change our futures. It doesn't take much...stop regretting what you did in the past. Stop wondering "what if." It doesn't matter "what if" because it is not and will not be. Quit over-obsessing. Quit dwelling on the past, going over every detail in your head, staring at your beloved pictures. No. Stop it. Take what you learned to heart, get up, walk away from it, and do something for you. Take it slow, you don't need to rush into something you're not ready for, but definitely break the mourning pattern and start living life again.
God gives us these moments, and He expects us to use them well. We must be grateful for the time He gives us and use it accordingly. We must accept His forgiveness so we do not need to live with regrets, and we must accept His strength to move on and challenge the next day. Life is too short to let drama get us down for long. We have to come back fighting (prepared with the whole armor of God) and we'll get through it. If we use our time wisely, our mourning will be a lesson, our healing will be empowered by God, and our future will be taken care of today. We never can see it right away, but each moment - past, present, and future - is a gift from God. He gives us this time here on Earth, He gives us life. With that life come trials, but also great happiness. There are so many lessons to be learned, hurts to be healed, and joy to be felt. Take every single moment, good or bad, and make it your little wonder.
"To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life--that is indeed a gift from God. People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy."
-Ecclesiastes 5:19-20
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11
Shortly after the breakup, I was watching Disney's "Meet the Robinsons" and the end credits play the song "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. As I listened to the song lyrics, it became more and more MY song . . . my theme song and encourager for these rough times. The first verse is my absolute favorite:
"Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder/don't you know, the hardest part is over/let it in, let your clarity define you/in the end, you will only just remember how it feels."
As soon as I hear these words, I want to let go. I want to leave the hurt behind me and move on. I realize again that moving on IS the next step. The song reminds us that we have to keep moving forward. We have gone through the worst part of it (for me, the initial breakup and insanity that followed), and soon the pain will just be a memory. We won't feel the anxiety and hurt anymore, but we'll remember going through it, and what it was like. I know I will never forget how I felt that first night...I told my roommate what happened, laid down on the floor, and cried. She was quite stunned, and I was quite angry. And then, I wasn't able to sleep. I stayed up until about 4 or 5 getting ahead on homework, projects, papers, anything to keep my mind off of life, until finally I could trust myself to crawl into bed and fall asleep without thinking about current events. That night will always be with me. But that was just one night.
My life is right now, and I have to live in the now. Sure, I will still see his pictures and be a little sad...maybe even wonder "what if." But I'm letting it (him) go. "Our lives are made in these small hours." Our future depends on the decisions we make now. You can regret wallowing for months about a relationship gone bad, or you can stop holding yourself back from living life normally and fully. Our past is important because it's made us who we are now, but these small hours RIGHT NOW are even more important, because they will make us who we are in the future. We have control over that, we can change our futures. It doesn't take much...stop regretting what you did in the past. Stop wondering "what if." It doesn't matter "what if" because it is not and will not be. Quit over-obsessing. Quit dwelling on the past, going over every detail in your head, staring at your beloved pictures. No. Stop it. Take what you learned to heart, get up, walk away from it, and do something for you. Take it slow, you don't need to rush into something you're not ready for, but definitely break the mourning pattern and start living life again.
God gives us these moments, and He expects us to use them well. We must be grateful for the time He gives us and use it accordingly. We must accept His forgiveness so we do not need to live with regrets, and we must accept His strength to move on and challenge the next day. Life is too short to let drama get us down for long. We have to come back fighting (prepared with the whole armor of God) and we'll get through it. If we use our time wisely, our mourning will be a lesson, our healing will be empowered by God, and our future will be taken care of today. We never can see it right away, but each moment - past, present, and future - is a gift from God. He gives us this time here on Earth, He gives us life. With that life come trials, but also great happiness. There are so many lessons to be learned, hurts to be healed, and joy to be felt. Take every single moment, good or bad, and make it your little wonder.
"To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life--that is indeed a gift from God. People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy."
-Ecclesiastes 5:19-20
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11
The Strength of Woman
Living with three females and being a female myself, I am constantly amazed at how strong women are. Yes, there are physically strong women with the sick muscles that look fake, but I'm talking about the emotionally and mentally strong women. Women like Hillary Clinton. I may not like her all that much, but I am not too proud to say that she is a strong woman. To be first lady, spend a life in Washington, and run for President makes her strong in my book. Then there's Sarah Palin, the CEO, mother of five children (one who is mentally handicapped), and she also made her way from mayor to Vice Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. Although many of us will not run for presidency or vice presidency, we are still strong. I look at the women who are wives and mothers, business owners, organization leaders, and teachers. The strength of women seems to be unending, and it has been this way throughout time.
Even though women today find strength in being president of a huge company, I like to look back at Eve. Although she may not have been strong enough to withstand the Devil's temptations, she was the first woman to bear children (and because of her sin it was painful). She did not know any tricks to make it easier; she did not have any drugs to ease the pain, or any doctors to aid her should anything go wrong. Not only was she the first woman to bear children, but she also developed the role of the woman/wife in her relationship with Adam.
Although some people like to say she played a subservient role, they are far from right. By "serving" Adam, she was to help him, support him, love him, be there for him. Sometimes we don't even realize how hard this can be to do, until our significant other grates on our nerves because they know exactly what to say to make us angry. Regardless, a woman's role in the relationship is bound to patience and unending love.
Then I look at the wives and mothers of the 50s, and "keeping up with the Jones'." Women were confined to the home, cooking and cleaning. They had to have the perfect style, and so did their house. They had to raise the children and take a back seat to their husbands. Although they were in the forefront of the home, they were seen in the background. All the work they did was done almost in secret and it had to seem effortless.
Today, women are no longer expected to be married and raise a family. Women no longer "need" a man in their lives to be successful. Today, women are successful when they have a good education and a career with a future. However, if they decide to add a family on top of that, they are expected to handle both things without a problem. A mother and career woman is required to take on two jobs, two lifestyles. We have no time to fail in this fast-paced time, and our culture has a low tolerance for failure.
Even still stronger emotionally, I see women every day who have faced uphill battles. They have lost family members, dealt with rape, been cheated on, suffered a messy breakup, been on the verge of suicide. Yet today they can look at me and smile. They are satisfied with what God has given them. Although they have seen difficult times, they are saved and resting in the peace and assurance that only God can give. They do not know what the future holds, but they take what they have learned from the past and continue forward even stronger.
A little while ago I was one of those women. I dealt with one of the most confusing and dramatic breakups of all time, and I was upset. I was upset with him, I was upset with God who told me to be with this loser, and I was upset with myself for going against my better judgment to date him. It was a week long battle of continuous slipping. I was slipping away from God and my true self. I was barely eating, barely sleeping, barely praying. I cried constantly when I was alone, and I wouldn't let anyone help me. The finale of the week was my trip to the ER. Although the doctor doesn't know what caused it, I have no doubt it was the result of the events of the week (especially since I prayed for God to hurt me in some way). I continued to be mad at God for telling me so strongly to be with this guy, and then having him leave me, and it took me a long time to pull myself together. A couple weeks later I realized I wasn't myself anymore. I had ditched my entire lifestyle, and I wasn't Amy. I looked in the mirror and it was the strangest thing . . . I could actually see that it wasn't me, I could tell in the mirror that I wasn't the same person. Let me tell you, when you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you don't recognize yourself, it's a scary thing.
The wonderful part is that I'm back. Although I'm more cautious, I'm Amy again. And I must say I'm a bit improved too. I've learned something from this . . . that although I may listen to God, not everyone else does, so nothing is guaranteed. Why should a boy I can't count on come between a God who has always been faithful? Also, I re-evaluated myself. I have found the self-confidence and self-love that I was lacking before. I re-evaluated my standards. I have always accepted too little from every boy I've dated, but I won't let myself anymore. I know what I deserve, and I know God has someone way more incredible than anyone I've ever dated picked out for me . . . my own Prince Charming. Through the pain and trials, there is always a lesson to be learned. We have to go through the trials to learn the lessons and be better. Before I could have settled, but today I won't accept anything less than what I deserve.
Would I say I'm strong? Yes. But there are women who have dealt with issues far worse than mine. I've never had to deal with cancer. I've always lived with both of my parents. I've been generally safe and secure my whole life. Women are strong . . . we come through so much besides having to meet the standards and expectations of society. Then we face emotional struggles too. There are times when we think we've slipped so much there's no way we can come back out, at least not in one piece. To those of you who have had a difficult life, I commend you. I appreciate you, and I respect you. To those of you who may be struggling now, don't worry. There's an end. You are strong, and believe it or not, you will be stronger still. God created us to be the helper and sustainer for a reason. He doesn't give us challenges we can't handle, at least that we can't handle without Him. When in doubt, pray. And don't be afraid to talk to a strong woman you know. Wisdom abounds in the struggles we face.
"There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. For you are all Christians - you are one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs and now all the promises God gave to him belong to you."
-Galatians 3:28-29
"There is no occasion for women to consider themselves subordinate or inferior to men."
-Mohandas K. Gandhi
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good."
-Charlotte Whitton
Even though women today find strength in being president of a huge company, I like to look back at Eve. Although she may not have been strong enough to withstand the Devil's temptations, she was the first woman to bear children (and because of her sin it was painful). She did not know any tricks to make it easier; she did not have any drugs to ease the pain, or any doctors to aid her should anything go wrong. Not only was she the first woman to bear children, but she also developed the role of the woman/wife in her relationship with Adam.
Although some people like to say she played a subservient role, they are far from right. By "serving" Adam, she was to help him, support him, love him, be there for him. Sometimes we don't even realize how hard this can be to do, until our significant other grates on our nerves because they know exactly what to say to make us angry. Regardless, a woman's role in the relationship is bound to patience and unending love.
Then I look at the wives and mothers of the 50s, and "keeping up with the Jones'." Women were confined to the home, cooking and cleaning. They had to have the perfect style, and so did their house. They had to raise the children and take a back seat to their husbands. Although they were in the forefront of the home, they were seen in the background. All the work they did was done almost in secret and it had to seem effortless.
Today, women are no longer expected to be married and raise a family. Women no longer "need" a man in their lives to be successful. Today, women are successful when they have a good education and a career with a future. However, if they decide to add a family on top of that, they are expected to handle both things without a problem. A mother and career woman is required to take on two jobs, two lifestyles. We have no time to fail in this fast-paced time, and our culture has a low tolerance for failure.
Even still stronger emotionally, I see women every day who have faced uphill battles. They have lost family members, dealt with rape, been cheated on, suffered a messy breakup, been on the verge of suicide. Yet today they can look at me and smile. They are satisfied with what God has given them. Although they have seen difficult times, they are saved and resting in the peace and assurance that only God can give. They do not know what the future holds, but they take what they have learned from the past and continue forward even stronger.
A little while ago I was one of those women. I dealt with one of the most confusing and dramatic breakups of all time, and I was upset. I was upset with him, I was upset with God who told me to be with this loser, and I was upset with myself for going against my better judgment to date him. It was a week long battle of continuous slipping. I was slipping away from God and my true self. I was barely eating, barely sleeping, barely praying. I cried constantly when I was alone, and I wouldn't let anyone help me. The finale of the week was my trip to the ER. Although the doctor doesn't know what caused it, I have no doubt it was the result of the events of the week (especially since I prayed for God to hurt me in some way). I continued to be mad at God for telling me so strongly to be with this guy, and then having him leave me, and it took me a long time to pull myself together. A couple weeks later I realized I wasn't myself anymore. I had ditched my entire lifestyle, and I wasn't Amy. I looked in the mirror and it was the strangest thing . . . I could actually see that it wasn't me, I could tell in the mirror that I wasn't the same person. Let me tell you, when you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you don't recognize yourself, it's a scary thing.
The wonderful part is that I'm back. Although I'm more cautious, I'm Amy again. And I must say I'm a bit improved too. I've learned something from this . . . that although I may listen to God, not everyone else does, so nothing is guaranteed. Why should a boy I can't count on come between a God who has always been faithful? Also, I re-evaluated myself. I have found the self-confidence and self-love that I was lacking before. I re-evaluated my standards. I have always accepted too little from every boy I've dated, but I won't let myself anymore. I know what I deserve, and I know God has someone way more incredible than anyone I've ever dated picked out for me . . . my own Prince Charming. Through the pain and trials, there is always a lesson to be learned. We have to go through the trials to learn the lessons and be better. Before I could have settled, but today I won't accept anything less than what I deserve.
Would I say I'm strong? Yes. But there are women who have dealt with issues far worse than mine. I've never had to deal with cancer. I've always lived with both of my parents. I've been generally safe and secure my whole life. Women are strong . . . we come through so much besides having to meet the standards and expectations of society. Then we face emotional struggles too. There are times when we think we've slipped so much there's no way we can come back out, at least not in one piece. To those of you who have had a difficult life, I commend you. I appreciate you, and I respect you. To those of you who may be struggling now, don't worry. There's an end. You are strong, and believe it or not, you will be stronger still. God created us to be the helper and sustainer for a reason. He doesn't give us challenges we can't handle, at least that we can't handle without Him. When in doubt, pray. And don't be afraid to talk to a strong woman you know. Wisdom abounds in the struggles we face.
"There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. For you are all Christians - you are one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs and now all the promises God gave to him belong to you."
-Galatians 3:28-29
"There is no occasion for women to consider themselves subordinate or inferior to men."
-Mohandas K. Gandhi
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good."
-Charlotte Whitton
Besides All the Bad Stuff .... It's Been a Really Good Day!
I am not a huge fan of bad days. I'm really not a fan of any day that makes me feel like jumping out of a window, but they do happen. I am teaching myself this year (or God's teaching me) how to recover from bad things that happen. One day this year I was running late to class, and I left the apartment building and it was pouring rain. I went back inside to find my umbrella...which was in my car. So I left the apartment again. Well, I decided to take the short way and cut through the grass and my heels got stuck in the mud, ripping off my shoe and covering my shoe, foot, and nice pants in mud. I decided to keep walking . . . I was late to class and a little mud never hurt anyone. I got close to my car, maybe 10 feet or so away, and I reached into my purse for my keys. They were not there. When I returned to my apartment I looked at the clock and decided it was not worth it. By the time I got to class, I would be so late I would already be marked absent anyway. I always feel guilty when I don't go to class but looking back, I am so glad I did not go. I needed that time to recover and refocus my mind. I know that if I had gone to class, I would not have been thinking straight, and I would have been stuck in a bad mood, bad day. Plus I would have been tracking mud all over campus.
Then again recently, I woke up about 5 minutes late to get ready for band rehearsal (can you blame me . . . rehearsal at 9 AM on a Saturday?) and so I was only a little bit behind. I thought I would make up that time in driving on the road. So while I was backing up, I looked behind me and decided I had more room to back up. Turns out . . . I did not. I ran into a light post. Not a regular one, the kind with the huge cement base. Luckily, my car was only scratched (seriously, it's hardly noticeable, it just freaked me out mostly), but it totally threw off my mindset for this morning. That and marching for an hour in 40 degree weather at 9 AM (but band is still awesome). When I came back to my apartment after practice I was ready to knock my head through the wall I was so irritated with myself. However, when I sat down a few minutes ago, I remembered all the good stuff that has happened already this morning: I didn't mess up during practice (besides playing a couple wrong notes because my fingers were so numb I couldn't feel my keys), I talked to someone I was looking forward to talking to, I got to joke around with my friends, and I was able to come back to a warm apartment.
I will admit I become pessimistic at times, but God is working with me on that. Today alone He has helped me to realize that it's not about the bad stuff. They're just minor trials that everyone must go through every once in a while. I don't believe they're God's punishment for me being a stupid kid. My running into a light post was just me being a stupid kid and punishing myself. I do believe that the Devil can use the bad things that happen to us and make them worse than they really are, and he can mess with our minds because of them too. We have to realize that not every day will be perfect. Bad things just happen (to good people). How will these things affect you? How will you LET these things affect you? God is waiting for your response. Will it be a positive or a negative one? Don't let your day be ruined because of a few bad things that happened. You will miss out on so much more.
When we let the bad things control us and we take on a negative mindset, we miss the good things. I almost forgot how lucky I am to even be able to come home to a warm apartment. Yes, I was shivering in 40 degree weather, but what about those who sleep outside when it's even colder? I am a very lucky person! Yes I scratched my car, but it will be an easy fix. Yes, I missed a class because of strange circumstances, but it was only one class and I didn't miss much. At least I have a car and I have the opportunity to attend a great school. If we didn't have the bad stuff, we wouldn't appreciate the good stuff. Crap happens, people, but we don't have to make it the worst day of our lives. We can refocus our mind and be determined to have a great rest of the day. Say a little prayer for strength, and tell the Devil to stuff it. I know that's what I'm going to do!
"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
-Proverbs 24:10
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
-Philippians 4:13
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other."
-Ecclesiastes 7:14
Then again recently, I woke up about 5 minutes late to get ready for band rehearsal (can you blame me . . . rehearsal at 9 AM on a Saturday?) and so I was only a little bit behind. I thought I would make up that time in driving on the road. So while I was backing up, I looked behind me and decided I had more room to back up. Turns out . . . I did not. I ran into a light post. Not a regular one, the kind with the huge cement base. Luckily, my car was only scratched (seriously, it's hardly noticeable, it just freaked me out mostly), but it totally threw off my mindset for this morning. That and marching for an hour in 40 degree weather at 9 AM (but band is still awesome). When I came back to my apartment after practice I was ready to knock my head through the wall I was so irritated with myself. However, when I sat down a few minutes ago, I remembered all the good stuff that has happened already this morning: I didn't mess up during practice (besides playing a couple wrong notes because my fingers were so numb I couldn't feel my keys), I talked to someone I was looking forward to talking to, I got to joke around with my friends, and I was able to come back to a warm apartment.
I will admit I become pessimistic at times, but God is working with me on that. Today alone He has helped me to realize that it's not about the bad stuff. They're just minor trials that everyone must go through every once in a while. I don't believe they're God's punishment for me being a stupid kid. My running into a light post was just me being a stupid kid and punishing myself. I do believe that the Devil can use the bad things that happen to us and make them worse than they really are, and he can mess with our minds because of them too. We have to realize that not every day will be perfect. Bad things just happen (to good people). How will these things affect you? How will you LET these things affect you? God is waiting for your response. Will it be a positive or a negative one? Don't let your day be ruined because of a few bad things that happened. You will miss out on so much more.
When we let the bad things control us and we take on a negative mindset, we miss the good things. I almost forgot how lucky I am to even be able to come home to a warm apartment. Yes, I was shivering in 40 degree weather, but what about those who sleep outside when it's even colder? I am a very lucky person! Yes I scratched my car, but it will be an easy fix. Yes, I missed a class because of strange circumstances, but it was only one class and I didn't miss much. At least I have a car and I have the opportunity to attend a great school. If we didn't have the bad stuff, we wouldn't appreciate the good stuff. Crap happens, people, but we don't have to make it the worst day of our lives. We can refocus our mind and be determined to have a great rest of the day. Say a little prayer for strength, and tell the Devil to stuff it. I know that's what I'm going to do!
"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
-Proverbs 24:10
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
-Philippians 4:13
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other."
-Ecclesiastes 7:14
Directional Anger
One summer I came back to ONU for Marching Band camp, and I was prepared to do some hard work. When I first arrived, I felt no emotion. For about three or four days, I was merely existing, never happy, sad, angry, or any other emotion. Then one day, someone said or did something that suddenly made my emotions snap. I was flooded with anger, and had nothing to do except stand at attention - I thought about being a jerk for the rest of the night to vent my anger, and I thought about letting my anger simmer until I couldn't stand it anymore. Suddenly it occurred to me that I should direct my anger and force it into something positive. I pushed past my anger and focused it into being the best marcher I could be. I turned my anger into self-discipline, concentration, and strict standards. Suddenly, anger left my focus, and I was reminded of how it feels to do well and be proud of myself.
The way I heard it, I always thought God disapproved of anger. That never made sense to me, since anger is such a natural feeling, and not always easily controlled. Even God is angry sometimes. But over the years I have realized it isn't necessarily the emotional aspect of anger.
A lot depends on how we respond to our anger, if we let it control us, and if we dwell on it. If you get into a wrestling match out of blind rage . . . that's not so good. But if you refocus all your energy that comes from your anger to be positive, it can become self-help, volunteering for others, or deepening a relationship with Christ.
Another trick I've learned and used, especially this past summer, is that when I become angry or frustrated and have no outlet for it, I journal to God. I'm not the best at verbalizing feelings, but when I write, everything comes out clearer, and when I write to God my frustrations, it helps me to feel more like He understands me. By the time I'm done writing my letter, the initial fierce anger has passed, and I can move on.
Not everything works for everyone, so I encourage you to find a positive outlet for your anger, so that you can direct yourself to a calmer, happier, more useful you.
"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control"
-Proverbs 29:11
"He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction."
-Proverbs 17:19
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."
-Proverbs 17:27
The way I heard it, I always thought God disapproved of anger. That never made sense to me, since anger is such a natural feeling, and not always easily controlled. Even God is angry sometimes. But over the years I have realized it isn't necessarily the emotional aspect of anger.
A lot depends on how we respond to our anger, if we let it control us, and if we dwell on it. If you get into a wrestling match out of blind rage . . . that's not so good. But if you refocus all your energy that comes from your anger to be positive, it can become self-help, volunteering for others, or deepening a relationship with Christ.
Another trick I've learned and used, especially this past summer, is that when I become angry or frustrated and have no outlet for it, I journal to God. I'm not the best at verbalizing feelings, but when I write, everything comes out clearer, and when I write to God my frustrations, it helps me to feel more like He understands me. By the time I'm done writing my letter, the initial fierce anger has passed, and I can move on.
Not everything works for everyone, so I encourage you to find a positive outlet for your anger, so that you can direct yourself to a calmer, happier, more useful you.
"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control"
-Proverbs 29:11
"He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction."
-Proverbs 17:19
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."
-Proverbs 17:27
Events of a Lifetime
When I was younger, my family used to go to the international draft horse show in Lansing, MI. There are the most beautiful horses there . . . Belgians, Percherons, Clydesdales (my personal favorite), and others. I loved it, because I've always loved horses. When I was at the show I was surrounded by them, and they towered over me. They are beautifully powerful creatures. Well, one year we were watching Belgians pull semi-trucks and we were up by the fence that surrounded the arena instead of in the stadium bleachers. I was up on a railing against a wall a few feet from the fence, right in front of the horses (keep in mind that this fence is very old and not very sturdy). Well, the owners tried to hook up the horses, but they missed the clip. The horses heard the clang of the metal, and took off. They know that when they're hooked up, they're supposed to run full speed. So they did. Right for me . . . the only thing between us was that stupid fence. Thankfully, and amazingly, the fence (and a couple people) held the horses back. Which is especially good since I was frozen in fear and could not remove myself from the railing . . . and those beasts would have demolished me. The stadium went from a quiet crowd watching the truck pull event, to a crowd of panic and injured people in much less than a minute.
One thing that I cannot stop thinking about lately is how life can change in an instant. Sometimes it's obvious, like when we graduate from High School (or college). It changes the moment our car crashes. It changes the moment we get a job. It changes the moment we become pregnant, and again the moment the baby is born . . . and then again when a family member passes away. Sometimes it's less obvious, like the moment we find a boyfriend who, although we don't know it at the time, will later become our husband. These moments all change our lives forever, and it is up to us to make the most of the outcome.
Obviously some events do not turn out favorably, such as the moment when a family member is diagnosed with a terminal illness. However, how do we spend our lives when that family member does, unfortunately, pass away? Do we sulk around for years, depressed and heartbroken? No, we eventually stop grieving and return to our lives, remembering our lost loved one. What about when we are in a car accident . . . do we stop driving out of fear? I sure hope not! I know I didn't . . . I got back in the car and drove home, a bit wiser and more cautious from my experience.
I think that many of us find it difficult at times to add Christianity and a spiritual life into our new lifestyle. And of course, when change first occurs, life is very unstable and different. But how great it is to have an unchanging, ever-stable God! When we are going through change, that is when we should be turning to God most, to help us make the best of our situation, to help us survive through it, and help us to use our lifestyle even more to His glory.
All of these instant changes make it very difficult to have our own plan. Maybe God does these things on purpose, hmm? I may plan to be a teacher, but then again I may not find a job as a teacher because God's plan is for me to be a missionary in a Spanish-speaking country. I don't really think that's what He wants, at least not right now. But it's a possibility. But God doesn't care about my plan, and when He wants and plans something for my life, He will do it regardless.
Life can change in an instant, whether we expect it to or not. It is our responsibility to use these changes to ours and God's advantages. God never changes, so we must rely on him during times of change to keep us sane. These changes are part of God's plan and most likely not part of ours. So don't have a strict plan. God's got it covered.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
One thing that I cannot stop thinking about lately is how life can change in an instant. Sometimes it's obvious, like when we graduate from High School (or college). It changes the moment our car crashes. It changes the moment we get a job. It changes the moment we become pregnant, and again the moment the baby is born . . . and then again when a family member passes away. Sometimes it's less obvious, like the moment we find a boyfriend who, although we don't know it at the time, will later become our husband. These moments all change our lives forever, and it is up to us to make the most of the outcome.
Obviously some events do not turn out favorably, such as the moment when a family member is diagnosed with a terminal illness. However, how do we spend our lives when that family member does, unfortunately, pass away? Do we sulk around for years, depressed and heartbroken? No, we eventually stop grieving and return to our lives, remembering our lost loved one. What about when we are in a car accident . . . do we stop driving out of fear? I sure hope not! I know I didn't . . . I got back in the car and drove home, a bit wiser and more cautious from my experience.
I think that many of us find it difficult at times to add Christianity and a spiritual life into our new lifestyle. And of course, when change first occurs, life is very unstable and different. But how great it is to have an unchanging, ever-stable God! When we are going through change, that is when we should be turning to God most, to help us make the best of our situation, to help us survive through it, and help us to use our lifestyle even more to His glory.
All of these instant changes make it very difficult to have our own plan. Maybe God does these things on purpose, hmm? I may plan to be a teacher, but then again I may not find a job as a teacher because God's plan is for me to be a missionary in a Spanish-speaking country. I don't really think that's what He wants, at least not right now. But it's a possibility. But God doesn't care about my plan, and when He wants and plans something for my life, He will do it regardless.
Life can change in an instant, whether we expect it to or not. It is our responsibility to use these changes to ours and God's advantages. God never changes, so we must rely on him during times of change to keep us sane. These changes are part of God's plan and most likely not part of ours. So don't have a strict plan. God's got it covered.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
What Is An American?
One night, during the annual Fourth of July fireworks show, my emotions were stirred as always. As I was watching the show I contradicted myself. I love watching each individual firework and seeing the beauty each one has to offer. That's why it becomes frustrating when they start doing ten of them at a time because I can't possibly see every one of them. However, at the same time, my favorite part of the show is the finale. I love the way the whole sky lights up when they shoot all of those fireworks at once, all the noise, and the way the ground and my body shake from them . . . I love it all!
It's kind of like everyday life for some of us. We enjoy the slow moments so much and being able to appreciate the little things without the craziness of all the other obligations that clutter our lives. Yet at the same time, we find the fast-paced society exciting and a driving force to succeed and work harder. Unfortunately our lives tend to be more fast-paced and less "stop and smell the roses." I would almost say that's the way America is these days. It's keeping up with the Jones' . . . except with other countries.
I think many of us fail to recognize the beauty in each moment, just as it is . . . slow or fast, big or small. I never thought this is how God intended it to be; a hectic life where people work and work just to stay ahead. I realize that America is going through a bit of a rough time economically, but it seems to be a hole we are continuously digging. Politicians' paths become more crooked and Americans pay for it in many ways. With actual money, time with family, work choices, time to ourselves, time in general we instead spend working. I signed a petition tonight about how the politicians in Michigan are still receiving a large paycheck, while the Michigan economy is still greatly suffering. The petition wanted the issue put on the ballot that their salary should be cut by 25 percent. Also, the politicians only have to spend one year working for the government, and they receive health care for life, which, guess what, we Michiganders have to pay for with taxes . . . and many are not making enough money to support a family as it is with the way our economic system is "working" right now.
I applied the beautiful fireworks show to my own life. What beauty am I taking for granted? Right now, not too much. I enjoy slow summers, even though they seem to go by faster and faster. But during the school year, I take for granted a whole lot. Something I discovered recently is that I really enjoy listening to Michael Bublé singing "Come Fly With Me" while I walk across campus to class. First of all, he's just an amazing singer and I can't get enough of him. But when I block out the exterior noises so that I just have the music, I notice the beauty of the world. It makes the whole world seem to open up, and it puts me in a really great mood really fast. I smile more and I feel like skipping. I also discovered, within the last few weeks of school, that there is a great place to go hiking and I fell in love with it. It was comforting to go out into nature, most of the time completely by myself, and think, take pictures, write, and pray.
Being away from home this past year has really helped me to appreciate the little things. Things such as a short hike on my own, singing and dancing in my pajamas around the house when my family's gone, watching a movie with my family, baking, having a child ask you to sit next to them (because they think I'm cool?), reading a book out on the porch with my dog, and so many other things. Yeah, every once in a while I have to take a look at the big picture, like how to pay for college, leaving the continent, how I'm going to live through the next semester (with 18 credit hours, Marching Band, drama club, and a job), and other things that nag at me.
However, I realized that my spirits have been higher than they have been in a very long time on the Fourth of July. Freedom has come to mean a lot to me in the past few years, and you darn well better be thankful for it. As I was praying over my lunch today, I thanked God simply for granting me the privilege of being born in a country where I am free to eat my potato salad as a Christian . . . and of course where I can enjoy a holiday with a half hour of spectacular fireworks. Even as I was sitting and watching the show, I was not as lonely as I usually am. In past years I have always wanted to be able to share the fireworks show with someone special. Of course they are very romantic (in my opinion), and almost magical. But tonight, I didn't feel that lonely, because I knew I had my family and someday I would be at every fireworks show with a very special someone. All along I had been taking my family for granted.
Although we have strayed far from the original United States of America, I am still an original American. I was born here and I am free. I respect and pray for those who, like my very own family, defend that freedom. I am a Christian, and I have rights just like everyone else, and I can practice my religion openly. And, although America is going through a rough time, we will pull together as we always do and make ourselves a better America, hopefully having learned from the past as we move to make the future better for our children. I praise God, not nearly as much as I should, for the blessing of being born an American.
"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."
Psalm 118:5
"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."
Psalm 119:32
It's kind of like everyday life for some of us. We enjoy the slow moments so much and being able to appreciate the little things without the craziness of all the other obligations that clutter our lives. Yet at the same time, we find the fast-paced society exciting and a driving force to succeed and work harder. Unfortunately our lives tend to be more fast-paced and less "stop and smell the roses." I would almost say that's the way America is these days. It's keeping up with the Jones' . . . except with other countries.
I think many of us fail to recognize the beauty in each moment, just as it is . . . slow or fast, big or small. I never thought this is how God intended it to be; a hectic life where people work and work just to stay ahead. I realize that America is going through a bit of a rough time economically, but it seems to be a hole we are continuously digging. Politicians' paths become more crooked and Americans pay for it in many ways. With actual money, time with family, work choices, time to ourselves, time in general we instead spend working. I signed a petition tonight about how the politicians in Michigan are still receiving a large paycheck, while the Michigan economy is still greatly suffering. The petition wanted the issue put on the ballot that their salary should be cut by 25 percent. Also, the politicians only have to spend one year working for the government, and they receive health care for life, which, guess what, we Michiganders have to pay for with taxes . . . and many are not making enough money to support a family as it is with the way our economic system is "working" right now.
I applied the beautiful fireworks show to my own life. What beauty am I taking for granted? Right now, not too much. I enjoy slow summers, even though they seem to go by faster and faster. But during the school year, I take for granted a whole lot. Something I discovered recently is that I really enjoy listening to Michael Bublé singing "Come Fly With Me" while I walk across campus to class. First of all, he's just an amazing singer and I can't get enough of him. But when I block out the exterior noises so that I just have the music, I notice the beauty of the world. It makes the whole world seem to open up, and it puts me in a really great mood really fast. I smile more and I feel like skipping. I also discovered, within the last few weeks of school, that there is a great place to go hiking and I fell in love with it. It was comforting to go out into nature, most of the time completely by myself, and think, take pictures, write, and pray.
Being away from home this past year has really helped me to appreciate the little things. Things such as a short hike on my own, singing and dancing in my pajamas around the house when my family's gone, watching a movie with my family, baking, having a child ask you to sit next to them (because they think I'm cool?), reading a book out on the porch with my dog, and so many other things. Yeah, every once in a while I have to take a look at the big picture, like how to pay for college, leaving the continent, how I'm going to live through the next semester (with 18 credit hours, Marching Band, drama club, and a job), and other things that nag at me.
However, I realized that my spirits have been higher than they have been in a very long time on the Fourth of July. Freedom has come to mean a lot to me in the past few years, and you darn well better be thankful for it. As I was praying over my lunch today, I thanked God simply for granting me the privilege of being born in a country where I am free to eat my potato salad as a Christian . . . and of course where I can enjoy a holiday with a half hour of spectacular fireworks. Even as I was sitting and watching the show, I was not as lonely as I usually am. In past years I have always wanted to be able to share the fireworks show with someone special. Of course they are very romantic (in my opinion), and almost magical. But tonight, I didn't feel that lonely, because I knew I had my family and someday I would be at every fireworks show with a very special someone. All along I had been taking my family for granted.
Although we have strayed far from the original United States of America, I am still an original American. I was born here and I am free. I respect and pray for those who, like my very own family, defend that freedom. I am a Christian, and I have rights just like everyone else, and I can practice my religion openly. And, although America is going through a rough time, we will pull together as we always do and make ourselves a better America, hopefully having learned from the past as we move to make the future better for our children. I praise God, not nearly as much as I should, for the blessing of being born an American.
"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."
Psalm 118:5
"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."
Psalm 119:32
A Kid At Heart
Recently I have been blessed with the opportunity to help my best friend, who just became the new Children's Ministries director at our church. I am more than happy to help . . . I love children (and my best friend) and I am excited to be able to play and sing with them every Sunday and Wednesday (plus some). Last Wednesday was my first Wednesday night with the kids. Once again, I was amazed by the children. Children have so many special, endearing, and unique qualities. A child's hug can make your whole day better. Children trust so easily, love endlessly without judgment, and forgive repeatedly. Children can go from happiness, to frustration, to anger, to sadness, back to happiness all in under a minute. Their smiles can melt your heart and when they walk with you and want to hold your hand, the world seems perfect.
I believe that children are examples of what we should strive to be. Jesus Himself said, "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." I understand that as we walk through life we lose our innocence. We grow up and face the real world and the sparkle tends to disappear from our eyes. But Jesus tells us to be and believe like the children. As difficult as it is to move on from being mistreated, we have to learn to trust again. Obviously in today's society we have to be a bit wary with the strangers, but are there areas where you need to learn to trust again? With adults? With friends? With relationships? Forgive whoever has hurt you and realize that not everyone is the same, and there is someone you can trust. There are good people out there.
Which brings me to my next point . . . forgiveness. Children have the incredible capacity to forgive (the same person!) repeatedly. I know I have had to deal with this with a friend of mine. When you are older and you have been wronged, sometimes it cuts deeper than when you were a child. This just means you have longer until you're healed. But believe me . . . you will heal. And then you will be ready to forgive and move on. Not only will you be ready, but you will want to forget it and go back to life the way it was.
The quality that amazes me the most with children is their ability to love without judgment. Children don't see black or white, tall or short, fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. They do not care. Their love has no boundaries and they are open with their love. When they climb into your lap, run and jump into your arms, and hug without letting go, that is love. That is their affection, which is graciously bestowed upon our undeserving selves.
The final point I would like to make is that we should be doing more than just striving to be childlike. We should also be guarding and protecting a child's special qualities. We shouldn't want them to grow up so fast and lose their innocence. My heart breaks when I see a child who has lost their innocence and luster for life. There is a little girl at my church who just makes my heart ache. She is so serious, and so angry. Her life has been a bit difficult, and she has lost her sparkle. We should be protecting and caring for children so that they do not end up like this . . . all grown up before their time.
So to me . . . being a kid at heart is more than being a goofy adult with a lot of energy. A kid at heart has maintained (at least some) of their innocence. They trust faithfully, love endlessly, and forgive repeatedly. I want to be a kid at heart.
"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."
Mark 10:13-16
I believe that children are examples of what we should strive to be. Jesus Himself said, "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." I understand that as we walk through life we lose our innocence. We grow up and face the real world and the sparkle tends to disappear from our eyes. But Jesus tells us to be and believe like the children. As difficult as it is to move on from being mistreated, we have to learn to trust again. Obviously in today's society we have to be a bit wary with the strangers, but are there areas where you need to learn to trust again? With adults? With friends? With relationships? Forgive whoever has hurt you and realize that not everyone is the same, and there is someone you can trust. There are good people out there.
Which brings me to my next point . . . forgiveness. Children have the incredible capacity to forgive (the same person!) repeatedly. I know I have had to deal with this with a friend of mine. When you are older and you have been wronged, sometimes it cuts deeper than when you were a child. This just means you have longer until you're healed. But believe me . . . you will heal. And then you will be ready to forgive and move on. Not only will you be ready, but you will want to forget it and go back to life the way it was.
The quality that amazes me the most with children is their ability to love without judgment. Children don't see black or white, tall or short, fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. They do not care. Their love has no boundaries and they are open with their love. When they climb into your lap, run and jump into your arms, and hug without letting go, that is love. That is their affection, which is graciously bestowed upon our undeserving selves.
The final point I would like to make is that we should be doing more than just striving to be childlike. We should also be guarding and protecting a child's special qualities. We shouldn't want them to grow up so fast and lose their innocence. My heart breaks when I see a child who has lost their innocence and luster for life. There is a little girl at my church who just makes my heart ache. She is so serious, and so angry. Her life has been a bit difficult, and she has lost her sparkle. We should be protecting and caring for children so that they do not end up like this . . . all grown up before their time.
So to me . . . being a kid at heart is more than being a goofy adult with a lot of energy. A kid at heart has maintained (at least some) of their innocence. They trust faithfully, love endlessly, and forgive repeatedly. I want to be a kid at heart.
"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."
Mark 10:13-16
Yeah, I Remember That
I have been thinking a lot about certain memories. Mostly I have thought about past conversations with people who have played significant roles in my life. One in particular has stuck with me, probably because it was so positive. It was a conversation I had had with my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) and we were talking about all the things we liked about each other. Of course they were long lists, but two of his really stuck with me. The first one is that he liked it when I called him handsome. The second one is that he loved the way I fit perfectly into his arms. Now that second one still makes me smile . . . it made my day when he told me that.
My point is about how memories tend to dominate our lives. My boyfriend's comments have altered how I talk to guys. Now, I more often call them handsome because supposedly they like that (and I'd like to clarify that I never called him or anyone anything else like hott or anything demeaning . . . handsome was it). His other comment has affected the way I think about potential boyfriends. I love hugs . . . giving and receiving. Now when I think about guys I wonder how good their hugs are. I wonder if I will fit perfectly into their arms . . . and if it will be just as wonderful to hug them. Thankfully this memory has affected me in a generally positive way, and I really do not have to worry about it. Unfortunately, there are many bad memories that affect us, and tend to do it in a more profound way.
As dramatic as it really is not, one bad memory that has really changed me negatively would be a picture one of my teacher's took and gave to me. I looked positively awful. The only good thing about the picture was my hair. And I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Since then I have been extra camera shy and I always fear how my pictures will turn out or how I will look in the camera. That one picture is ingrained in my memory and has made me more self-conscious than anything else. Since then I have feverishly worked on my appearance to be where I'm at today . . . far from perfect but light years away from the girl in that photo. Another more deep memory has afflicted my current life. I was in 7th grade . . . I wasn't fond of Mr. McGuire, I HATED the class, and I wasn't motivated to do anything for it or him. Consequently, I received a C in that class . . . and my Mom was obviously not happy. Then my sister came home from college and she received all A's . . . and my Mom was ecstatic (as she should have been). Since then my goal for college has been to receive all A's. Yeah, I already got one B+ in Financial Accounting . . . leave me alone.
Why is it that the negative memories cut us so deeply and change us so drastically? Seriously . . . I should be so happy about my grades. I'm a very intelligent woman, and people know it . . . before they even know my GPA. I have learned to be happy about my grades and get over the disappointment. But at first it just nagged at me, and I was so upset with myself. What I really need to do is just my best, because I have to face the fact that that is all I can give.
Negative memories are one of the Devil's tools. They cause us to doubt ourselves, fear ourselves, and sometimes despise ourselves. We become so consumed with being better than whatever we were before . . . setting unrealistic goals, fantasizing, obsessing, driving ourselves insane. First of all, there is NO room for God in all that insanity. Second of all we forget that through Christ's death on the cross, we do not have to concentrate on the past. All that matters is who we are today and who He wants us to become. Not to say that we should not learn from our mistakes or try harder, but we cannot dwell on the negative or obsess over it. It's all God's plan, and He has something so much better in store. It is time to let go of all the conflict and pain. Stop beating yourself up. Forgive and forget. Let God take control.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."
Isaiah 43:18
My point is about how memories tend to dominate our lives. My boyfriend's comments have altered how I talk to guys. Now, I more often call them handsome because supposedly they like that (and I'd like to clarify that I never called him or anyone anything else like hott or anything demeaning . . . handsome was it). His other comment has affected the way I think about potential boyfriends. I love hugs . . . giving and receiving. Now when I think about guys I wonder how good their hugs are. I wonder if I will fit perfectly into their arms . . . and if it will be just as wonderful to hug them. Thankfully this memory has affected me in a generally positive way, and I really do not have to worry about it. Unfortunately, there are many bad memories that affect us, and tend to do it in a more profound way.
As dramatic as it really is not, one bad memory that has really changed me negatively would be a picture one of my teacher's took and gave to me. I looked positively awful. The only good thing about the picture was my hair. And I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Since then I have been extra camera shy and I always fear how my pictures will turn out or how I will look in the camera. That one picture is ingrained in my memory and has made me more self-conscious than anything else. Since then I have feverishly worked on my appearance to be where I'm at today . . . far from perfect but light years away from the girl in that photo. Another more deep memory has afflicted my current life. I was in 7th grade . . . I wasn't fond of Mr. McGuire, I HATED the class, and I wasn't motivated to do anything for it or him. Consequently, I received a C in that class . . . and my Mom was obviously not happy. Then my sister came home from college and she received all A's . . . and my Mom was ecstatic (as she should have been). Since then my goal for college has been to receive all A's. Yeah, I already got one B+ in Financial Accounting . . . leave me alone.
Why is it that the negative memories cut us so deeply and change us so drastically? Seriously . . . I should be so happy about my grades. I'm a very intelligent woman, and people know it . . . before they even know my GPA. I have learned to be happy about my grades and get over the disappointment. But at first it just nagged at me, and I was so upset with myself. What I really need to do is just my best, because I have to face the fact that that is all I can give.
Negative memories are one of the Devil's tools. They cause us to doubt ourselves, fear ourselves, and sometimes despise ourselves. We become so consumed with being better than whatever we were before . . . setting unrealistic goals, fantasizing, obsessing, driving ourselves insane. First of all, there is NO room for God in all that insanity. Second of all we forget that through Christ's death on the cross, we do not have to concentrate on the past. All that matters is who we are today and who He wants us to become. Not to say that we should not learn from our mistakes or try harder, but we cannot dwell on the negative or obsess over it. It's all God's plan, and He has something so much better in store. It is time to let go of all the conflict and pain. Stop beating yourself up. Forgive and forget. Let God take control.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."
Isaiah 43:18
What Am I Worth?
My time at Olivet has been a real project on my self-image. I bet many of you are like me, and tend to only focus on the negatives instead of seeing all the positives. Is it because we want the whole package, or because whatever is "wrong" with our bodies is the most important - therefore if that looks bad, everything does? Most importantly, what makes us think we don't make the cut when it comes to being attractive? Is it friends who appear prettier to you? Super models? The popular girl? Commercials on the television?
Unfortunately, this segment will only benefit a few because I can't speak on those. I have discovered what makes me feel so worthless at times . . . boys. Not all boys, just the pig-headed ones.
As horrible as it is, I cannot even tell you how many times I have been used, stalked, or verbally harassed. I had a “friend” ask me to give him a lap dance. I have been asked to make out repeatedly "just as friends." It seems like all this should make me feel attractive and desirable, right? No, of course not. You see, if you let guys talk to you and treat you a certain way for very long, you start to think that that is all you're worth, guys are all the same, and you will only be worth anything if guys find you desirable . . . and verbalize it. My R.A. (and friend) helped me to see that I am not happy unless I have a guy who likes me. I am not happy unless I have a guy in my life. Maybe I have dealt with too many guys who have harassed me, and when that is not happening, I feel like there is something wrong with me. That really saddens me. I have lowered my standards as a woman and I only feel good when I am being treated as a sexual object. Not only that, but I have let this happen so long, that my whole view of men has been tainted . . . yes, even Christian men. I have been lead to believe that all men are the same, and all of them have one thing on their mind.
One of my new friends has felt the repercussions of this. He is a good guy, but unfortunately it has been hard for me to trust him, because in the past, the only time a guy has been this sweet to me is because he wanted something. I think God sent him to me, not only so that I would have a new friend, but also so that my broken view of men could start to be pieced back together. I won't say that it's easy for me to trust men now because of one good guy. But no . . . they are not all the same and there is some hope.
My friend has not only changed my view of men, but he has started to change how I view myself. See, we started talking online . . . we have never met in person, even though we attend the same school. However he enjoys me for me . . . my personality. All my sarcasm and grumpiness even. I am really starting to understand when people say that you have to find your worth through Christ. You'll have to ask my friend . . . but I think my spirituality and Christian love have a part to play in him wanting to talk to me and put up with me daily.
I knew before that spirituality is important, but lately I have been really starting to comprehend how important it is. Without good character and Christian love, you don't have much . . . and the world would be in trouble. It isn't beauty that gets us into Heaven. It isn't beauty that makes us feel better after a tragedy. What good is a beautiful friend if they cannot provide spiritual support? What you begin to realize is that someone who shines with the love of Christ is truly beautiful in ways difficult to understand until we experience it ourselves.
I would never say that painting your nails, buying a new face wash, or eating healthier to lose weight is a bad thing . . . I just hope you are spending more time on your relationship with Christ than your relationship with the mirror.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do."
I Timothy 2:9-10
Unfortunately, this segment will only benefit a few because I can't speak on those. I have discovered what makes me feel so worthless at times . . . boys. Not all boys, just the pig-headed ones.
As horrible as it is, I cannot even tell you how many times I have been used, stalked, or verbally harassed. I had a “friend” ask me to give him a lap dance. I have been asked to make out repeatedly "just as friends." It seems like all this should make me feel attractive and desirable, right? No, of course not. You see, if you let guys talk to you and treat you a certain way for very long, you start to think that that is all you're worth, guys are all the same, and you will only be worth anything if guys find you desirable . . . and verbalize it. My R.A. (and friend) helped me to see that I am not happy unless I have a guy who likes me. I am not happy unless I have a guy in my life. Maybe I have dealt with too many guys who have harassed me, and when that is not happening, I feel like there is something wrong with me. That really saddens me. I have lowered my standards as a woman and I only feel good when I am being treated as a sexual object. Not only that, but I have let this happen so long, that my whole view of men has been tainted . . . yes, even Christian men. I have been lead to believe that all men are the same, and all of them have one thing on their mind.
One of my new friends has felt the repercussions of this. He is a good guy, but unfortunately it has been hard for me to trust him, because in the past, the only time a guy has been this sweet to me is because he wanted something. I think God sent him to me, not only so that I would have a new friend, but also so that my broken view of men could start to be pieced back together. I won't say that it's easy for me to trust men now because of one good guy. But no . . . they are not all the same and there is some hope.
My friend has not only changed my view of men, but he has started to change how I view myself. See, we started talking online . . . we have never met in person, even though we attend the same school. However he enjoys me for me . . . my personality. All my sarcasm and grumpiness even. I am really starting to understand when people say that you have to find your worth through Christ. You'll have to ask my friend . . . but I think my spirituality and Christian love have a part to play in him wanting to talk to me and put up with me daily.
I knew before that spirituality is important, but lately I have been really starting to comprehend how important it is. Without good character and Christian love, you don't have much . . . and the world would be in trouble. It isn't beauty that gets us into Heaven. It isn't beauty that makes us feel better after a tragedy. What good is a beautiful friend if they cannot provide spiritual support? What you begin to realize is that someone who shines with the love of Christ is truly beautiful in ways difficult to understand until we experience it ourselves.
I would never say that painting your nails, buying a new face wash, or eating healthier to lose weight is a bad thing . . . I just hope you are spending more time on your relationship with Christ than your relationship with the mirror.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do."
I Timothy 2:9-10
I Ain't Afraid of Nothin'
Alright . . . so that title is totally false, and I am afraid of plenty! But tonight I’ve been thinking and I’ve realized how much I allow fear to control my life. It's really quite ridiculous. I had an encounter with one of my fears today. Do you ever see advertisements on Facebook for the Christian dating sight, chistianmingle.com? Yes well, I recently decided that I was going to suck it up, make a simple profile, and see who was on there. I didn't plan on talking to anyone or anything like that . . . but I wanted to have the experience. Plus . . . it's a Christian dating site, it's got to be safe, right? Ok, no. I set up my profile this afternoon and took it down tonight. Ha. Some creepy guy started messaging me from the site and he wanted to "flirt." He did all the flirting, and I have never experienced flirting like that ever before! This guy asked me my bra size, what kind of underwear I wear, and if I shop at Victoria's Secret. Gross! So it turns out all my fears of dating sites are legitimate and my profile's gone, the creepy guy blocked, and I am NEVER doing that again.
In all honesty though, that's not what got me thinking about fear. For one of my majors (Spanish) I have to study abroad. Next year, spring semester, I am going to Quito, Ecuador for 15 weeks. I have never been more afraid of anything in my life. I was reading the blog of someone who just went and it sounds truly amazing, but all of the "cons" of Ecuador that she mentioned are the ones that I am most afraid of. I can't even imagine how hard it is going to be to be away for so long from my family and friends, my dog, my car, my church, ONU, and everything else I take for granted. That's only one of my fears. Part of the trip includes traveling through the Amazon jungle and around the Galápagos. Sounds amazing right? It really does . . . until people talk about the snakes, poisonous spiders, activities when the guide has you swimming with SHARKS. I'll be almost surprised if I come back alive. But I know it's something I just have to do. I obviously have to study abroad somewhere in order to graduate. I could go somewhere safer like Spain, or Mexico . . . however, I can do that any time later in my life. The only other time I'm going to have to go to the Galápagos is when I'm really, really rich. I don’t see that happening any time soon. God has thrust this opportunity right in front of me with all the culture, adventure, Spanish, ministry, and beauty I could possibly imagine! What's the worst that could happen? Being bitten by a snake? Jumping in the water and being attacked by a shark? Alright . . . so the stakes are a bit higher in this situation, but I don't think God would give me such an adventure if He weren't going to protect me. Who am I to question His judgment and plan? No one. What else could happen? I could bring someone to Christ. I could meet a great new friend from Ecuador. I could come back to America a changed and better person.
I know sometimes when we're called to do something it can be really difficult. Especially when it deals with something so important and integral in your life or when you cannot really see what the outcome is going to be and whether or not it will positively influence your life. Yes, sometimes it's hard to grab life by the horns when you don't know how rough a ride it's going to be or if you're going to get kicked off or not. But when you're called you just have to suck it up! It's God's plan, not yours! I know it's not what we want to hear, but if it's God's plan for you to die . . . you're going to die. I know it's God's plan for me to go to Ecuador. I don't know if it's God's plan for me to be eaten by a shark. I just hope that if it is, I die quickly (sorry, not funny). I also know that since it is His plan, something fantastic is going to happen - something more than I could ever have imagined - because that's how life is if you follow His will. Life is just good. You don't need to be afraid.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."
Psalm 56:3
"Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid, just believe.""
Mark 5:36
In all honesty though, that's not what got me thinking about fear. For one of my majors (Spanish) I have to study abroad. Next year, spring semester, I am going to Quito, Ecuador for 15 weeks. I have never been more afraid of anything in my life. I was reading the blog of someone who just went and it sounds truly amazing, but all of the "cons" of Ecuador that she mentioned are the ones that I am most afraid of. I can't even imagine how hard it is going to be to be away for so long from my family and friends, my dog, my car, my church, ONU, and everything else I take for granted. That's only one of my fears. Part of the trip includes traveling through the Amazon jungle and around the Galápagos. Sounds amazing right? It really does . . . until people talk about the snakes, poisonous spiders, activities when the guide has you swimming with SHARKS. I'll be almost surprised if I come back alive. But I know it's something I just have to do. I obviously have to study abroad somewhere in order to graduate. I could go somewhere safer like Spain, or Mexico . . . however, I can do that any time later in my life. The only other time I'm going to have to go to the Galápagos is when I'm really, really rich. I don’t see that happening any time soon. God has thrust this opportunity right in front of me with all the culture, adventure, Spanish, ministry, and beauty I could possibly imagine! What's the worst that could happen? Being bitten by a snake? Jumping in the water and being attacked by a shark? Alright . . . so the stakes are a bit higher in this situation, but I don't think God would give me such an adventure if He weren't going to protect me. Who am I to question His judgment and plan? No one. What else could happen? I could bring someone to Christ. I could meet a great new friend from Ecuador. I could come back to America a changed and better person.
I know sometimes when we're called to do something it can be really difficult. Especially when it deals with something so important and integral in your life or when you cannot really see what the outcome is going to be and whether or not it will positively influence your life. Yes, sometimes it's hard to grab life by the horns when you don't know how rough a ride it's going to be or if you're going to get kicked off or not. But when you're called you just have to suck it up! It's God's plan, not yours! I know it's not what we want to hear, but if it's God's plan for you to die . . . you're going to die. I know it's God's plan for me to go to Ecuador. I don't know if it's God's plan for me to be eaten by a shark. I just hope that if it is, I die quickly (sorry, not funny). I also know that since it is His plan, something fantastic is going to happen - something more than I could ever have imagined - because that's how life is if you follow His will. Life is just good. You don't need to be afraid.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."
Psalm 56:3
"Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid, just believe.""
Mark 5:36
The Ties That Bind
Recently I have been thinking a lot about family. I am soon to be an aunt for the first time. I have also been thinking a lot about family because in just a few short months, I will be leaving for Ecuador . . . a 15 week study abroad experience in South America. Yes, this means I will miss seeing my newborn niece or nephew...I won't be able to see them until they're about a month old. I also will not be able to see my family (or friends) for four months. Now, it's not that difficult to stay at Olivet for a month and not see my family. It may be because I know they are just a few hours away or because I am so busy here at Olivet. Who knows? But FOUR months in a whole different continent just seems unbearable. I definitely have plans to buy a web cam and looking at international cell phone plans.
Tonight while I was looking through my box of photos, I found a picture from a long time ago that I printed off of my computer. I was probably about a year old, and Tina (my sister) would have been 7 or 8. I saw it and wanted to hang it on my desk, so I set it aside. When I was moving it I noticed there was writing on the back of it, and I had no idea what it was about. As it turns out, it was a letter I had written for my sister, 2 days after we had moved her and Bryan (my brother-in-law) into their new apartment in Kansas. I read through the letter, not even remembering what I had written. It brought tears to my eyes to remember how it felt that first time I realized how far away my only sister was.
Sometimes it takes being separated from family to realize how important they are in your life. When I first came to Olivet, I was excited to be here. After a week or so, the thrilling feeling of being at camp subsided and I slowly began to realize that I was at Olivet for real, and this was my life now. I was not afraid of independence; I have always been an independent person. But I missed having my family around, as much as they may have annoyed me at home. I made so many phone calls home that first semester, at least once or twice a week, if not more. I tried to make frequent visits home, and every time I left to return to Olivet, I would cry. I was so ready for the true independence of Olivet, but when I finally had it and was away from my family, it was not at all what I wanted. In fact, I wanted desperately to be near some family member, someone who actually cared about me. Not that there is no one at ONU who cares about me, many people at Olivet care, but not like a sister, or a parent, or a grandparent. I felt separated and cut off from my source of life and security, and it made me feel lonelier than I have ever felt in my entire life.
Some people can cope with being very far away from family for long periods of time; it doesn't seem to faze them. It just makes me wonder if they are taking their family for granted. What is your family to you? Are they only there to give you things or tell you what to do? Have you bothered to establish a real relationship with members of your family? Seriously though, have you bothered to invest much at all into your family? Now I'm not condemning you of not caring . . . but these are serious questions. Family is one of the most important and highly valuable things we have on Earth, and they should be our main lifeline.
So your parents tell you what to do, and yes, it gets old and annoying real fast. But have you taken time to appreciate it? One of the things I have a very low tolerance for is people/children who disrespect their parents. It would be one thing if your parents physically/verbally abused you, but I have seen people whose parents were the most supportive, caring parents in the world and if they did the slightest thing "wrong," their own child would shoot a snotty remark and become upset with them. Let me just say this...HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER. God says so. That should be more than enough to make you think about your relationship with your parents. Do you honor them, or do you make them honor you? If you make them honor you, there's something wrong.
So your siblings are annoying pests who fight with you all the time. Well, I used to have a real problem fighting with both siblings . . . with Tina until she left for college (and then still some on occasion) and with Bradley until I left for college. Now I feel I get along quite well with both of them. If you're an older sibling, think about how you are treating your younger siblings. Your fights may just seem like silly quarrels later, but what you said to your younger brother/sister may have really hurt them. You are their role model, their hero, the person they look up to and hopefully strive to be like. If you hurt them enough they will turn their back on you, and to those it has happened to I've heard that when your sibling no longer looks up to you, that is painful. And younger siblings....don't be brats. I used to be a brat to my sister, and in turn, Bradley used to be a brat to me. Please, do not persist in being a pain . . . I know it seems like fun, but you may not realize how hard it is for your older sibling not to smack you (unless they do smack you). Just love each other . . . they are one of the strongest support systems you can have, and you do not want to fail them or let them down, just as it would be painful for them to let you down.
When I was reading When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, they wrote about how, in order to have a functional relationship or a healthy relationship, you need to start with healthy relationships in the family. The best way to find a real Christian is one who acts Christian even around their family - by far the most trying people in our lives. Let me reiterate: to have healthy relationships outside the family, you must START with healthy relationships INSIDE the family. Not only will they be your support when you are in a relationship, but if you can behave like a Christian to your own family, think how much easier it will be to be a Christian to a much less trying boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse.
Think about your family. What is your relationship like with them? Do you value them, or do you use and abuse them? From our parents down to our youngest siblings, our grandparents to our cousins, they play a very influential role in our lives. Have you let them in, or have you shut them out? Have you allowed them to love you, and have you offered love in return? Do you honor you parents? Do you honor your siblings? Can you be a Christian in your very own home? Sometimes these questions are difficult to answer because they reveal a side of us, an ugly side of us, which we do not like to face. But just as you have to look in the mirror to fix your hair, you have to look at your home life to fix your heart.
"This is my command: Love each other."
-John 15:17
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another about yourselves."
-Romans 12:9-10
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
-Romans 12:17-18
"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
-Desmond Tutu
"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
-Jane Howard
"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." -Paul Pearshall
Tonight while I was looking through my box of photos, I found a picture from a long time ago that I printed off of my computer. I was probably about a year old, and Tina (my sister) would have been 7 or 8. I saw it and wanted to hang it on my desk, so I set it aside. When I was moving it I noticed there was writing on the back of it, and I had no idea what it was about. As it turns out, it was a letter I had written for my sister, 2 days after we had moved her and Bryan (my brother-in-law) into their new apartment in Kansas. I read through the letter, not even remembering what I had written. It brought tears to my eyes to remember how it felt that first time I realized how far away my only sister was.
Sometimes it takes being separated from family to realize how important they are in your life. When I first came to Olivet, I was excited to be here. After a week or so, the thrilling feeling of being at camp subsided and I slowly began to realize that I was at Olivet for real, and this was my life now. I was not afraid of independence; I have always been an independent person. But I missed having my family around, as much as they may have annoyed me at home. I made so many phone calls home that first semester, at least once or twice a week, if not more. I tried to make frequent visits home, and every time I left to return to Olivet, I would cry. I was so ready for the true independence of Olivet, but when I finally had it and was away from my family, it was not at all what I wanted. In fact, I wanted desperately to be near some family member, someone who actually cared about me. Not that there is no one at ONU who cares about me, many people at Olivet care, but not like a sister, or a parent, or a grandparent. I felt separated and cut off from my source of life and security, and it made me feel lonelier than I have ever felt in my entire life.
Some people can cope with being very far away from family for long periods of time; it doesn't seem to faze them. It just makes me wonder if they are taking their family for granted. What is your family to you? Are they only there to give you things or tell you what to do? Have you bothered to establish a real relationship with members of your family? Seriously though, have you bothered to invest much at all into your family? Now I'm not condemning you of not caring . . . but these are serious questions. Family is one of the most important and highly valuable things we have on Earth, and they should be our main lifeline.
So your parents tell you what to do, and yes, it gets old and annoying real fast. But have you taken time to appreciate it? One of the things I have a very low tolerance for is people/children who disrespect their parents. It would be one thing if your parents physically/verbally abused you, but I have seen people whose parents were the most supportive, caring parents in the world and if they did the slightest thing "wrong," their own child would shoot a snotty remark and become upset with them. Let me just say this...HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER. God says so. That should be more than enough to make you think about your relationship with your parents. Do you honor them, or do you make them honor you? If you make them honor you, there's something wrong.
So your siblings are annoying pests who fight with you all the time. Well, I used to have a real problem fighting with both siblings . . . with Tina until she left for college (and then still some on occasion) and with Bradley until I left for college. Now I feel I get along quite well with both of them. If you're an older sibling, think about how you are treating your younger siblings. Your fights may just seem like silly quarrels later, but what you said to your younger brother/sister may have really hurt them. You are their role model, their hero, the person they look up to and hopefully strive to be like. If you hurt them enough they will turn their back on you, and to those it has happened to I've heard that when your sibling no longer looks up to you, that is painful. And younger siblings....don't be brats. I used to be a brat to my sister, and in turn, Bradley used to be a brat to me. Please, do not persist in being a pain . . . I know it seems like fun, but you may not realize how hard it is for your older sibling not to smack you (unless they do smack you). Just love each other . . . they are one of the strongest support systems you can have, and you do not want to fail them or let them down, just as it would be painful for them to let you down.
When I was reading When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, they wrote about how, in order to have a functional relationship or a healthy relationship, you need to start with healthy relationships in the family. The best way to find a real Christian is one who acts Christian even around their family - by far the most trying people in our lives. Let me reiterate: to have healthy relationships outside the family, you must START with healthy relationships INSIDE the family. Not only will they be your support when you are in a relationship, but if you can behave like a Christian to your own family, think how much easier it will be to be a Christian to a much less trying boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse.
Think about your family. What is your relationship like with them? Do you value them, or do you use and abuse them? From our parents down to our youngest siblings, our grandparents to our cousins, they play a very influential role in our lives. Have you let them in, or have you shut them out? Have you allowed them to love you, and have you offered love in return? Do you honor you parents? Do you honor your siblings? Can you be a Christian in your very own home? Sometimes these questions are difficult to answer because they reveal a side of us, an ugly side of us, which we do not like to face. But just as you have to look in the mirror to fix your hair, you have to look at your home life to fix your heart.
"This is my command: Love each other."
-John 15:17
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another about yourselves."
-Romans 12:9-10
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
-Romans 12:17-18
"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
-Desmond Tutu
"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
-Jane Howard
"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." -Paul Pearshall
You Can't Help Those Who Don't Want Help
In High School, I had many friends who were not Christians, or at least . . . not like I was. I loved them to death, and I miss hanging out with them . . . especially during times like Band Camp. However, at first I felt like my Christianity strained things at times. I had my rules, morals, ethics, principles, standards - whatever - and at times my innocent and straight-laced nature rubbed against the ideals and standards of my sexually active, chronic-swearing, do-what-I-want, be-who-I-want friends. Even though my friends were the kindest-hearted and most open friends, there were times when I felt turned off by their behavior, and I know there were times when they were turned off by mine.
Somehow, though, we managed to click and become good friends. At times it was frustrating because I felt like my values were being degraded, or there was simply no concern or consideration for my Christian beliefs. There were times when I would mention Christianity, and try to understand why Christianity was not much a part of their lives, if at all. We had debates over religion and I would invite them to church - and they would always decline. Eventually we did what we had to do to remain friends - we accepted each other. I did not nag or push Christianity on them; I merely showed Christ-like love and stuck to my beliefs. They, for the most part, respected my beliefs and did not force me or influence me to do things I did not want to do.
There are some people who you can take to church and help bring them to Christ. However, there are others who have fiddled with the idea, and rejected it completely . . . and will not change their decision. My friends fell into group number two. They were not even on the fence . . . they rejected it and completely did not want it as their lifestyle. No matter how much I would have begged, pleaded, or argued, their stance would not have changed. In fact, it would have made them push me away, making me lose my chance of showing them any Christ love whatsoever.
My friends aided in my desire to steer clear of inviting people to church - they did not want to, so who else would? Besides, I had already done my part in the first place by even asking them. No . . . sorry, not off the hook. There are so many more out there who need you to invite them to church or to any church event. A Christian influence is so important. But for those who do not want it, no matter how many times you ask, your job is still not complete. We still have the all-important task of being and showing Christ to them. If we push them away because they do not agree with our lifestyle, then we are not being good examples or tools of Christ. Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that we cannot win every battle against sin, no matter how hard we may try.
What is left for us to do is to pray. Be prayer warriors for the people in our lives who don't know Christ, who have fallen off the "straight and narrow" path, who have lost their way in an increasingly desire-driven world. Prayer is our strongest defense against sin, temptation, evil, and the Devil himself. Besides prayer, we must also be Christ to the people in our lives that are living a lifestyle apart from ours. Even if they decide that Christianity is not something that they agree with or are interested in, if we just show them love, at least we may start to change the negative connotation that comes with the word Christianity. We may not be able to save every person we meet on the street, but we can certainly make a difference.
"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? "
-Matthew 5:46
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
-Matthew 22:39
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. "
-John 13:34
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 13:13
Somehow, though, we managed to click and become good friends. At times it was frustrating because I felt like my values were being degraded, or there was simply no concern or consideration for my Christian beliefs. There were times when I would mention Christianity, and try to understand why Christianity was not much a part of their lives, if at all. We had debates over religion and I would invite them to church - and they would always decline. Eventually we did what we had to do to remain friends - we accepted each other. I did not nag or push Christianity on them; I merely showed Christ-like love and stuck to my beliefs. They, for the most part, respected my beliefs and did not force me or influence me to do things I did not want to do.
There are some people who you can take to church and help bring them to Christ. However, there are others who have fiddled with the idea, and rejected it completely . . . and will not change their decision. My friends fell into group number two. They were not even on the fence . . . they rejected it and completely did not want it as their lifestyle. No matter how much I would have begged, pleaded, or argued, their stance would not have changed. In fact, it would have made them push me away, making me lose my chance of showing them any Christ love whatsoever.
My friends aided in my desire to steer clear of inviting people to church - they did not want to, so who else would? Besides, I had already done my part in the first place by even asking them. No . . . sorry, not off the hook. There are so many more out there who need you to invite them to church or to any church event. A Christian influence is so important. But for those who do not want it, no matter how many times you ask, your job is still not complete. We still have the all-important task of being and showing Christ to them. If we push them away because they do not agree with our lifestyle, then we are not being good examples or tools of Christ. Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that we cannot win every battle against sin, no matter how hard we may try.
What is left for us to do is to pray. Be prayer warriors for the people in our lives who don't know Christ, who have fallen off the "straight and narrow" path, who have lost their way in an increasingly desire-driven world. Prayer is our strongest defense against sin, temptation, evil, and the Devil himself. Besides prayer, we must also be Christ to the people in our lives that are living a lifestyle apart from ours. Even if they decide that Christianity is not something that they agree with or are interested in, if we just show them love, at least we may start to change the negative connotation that comes with the word Christianity. We may not be able to save every person we meet on the street, but we can certainly make a difference.
"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? "
-Matthew 5:46
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
-Matthew 22:39
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. "
-John 13:34
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 13:13
A Bunch of Junk
Whenever I check mail on any of my 3 e-mail accounts, I always have tons of junk mail. I would say about ninety percent of the mail I get is spam. I suppose it even goes beyond my e-mails to the junk I get through snail mail (especially the credit card companies . . . no thanks). Honestly, I become so irritated sometimes because I check my e-mail at night, and when I wake up the next morning I have 30 junk e-mails. Every so often, I wonder how these people received my e-mail address. But tonight, as I was checking my mail, I deleted my junk mail and I wondered not only how they got there, but I also wondered why I am so quick to check the box and delete them.
My point is not that junk mail contains important information and you should take the time to read them all, but they are like every other problem in life. When you have a problem, do you always think it is someone else's fault? Is it always some snoop at some scamming company hunting down your e-mail address to send you junk? Or did you fall for a trick and apply for some "free" product that was actually a scam, and therefore you gave them your e-mail on a platter, and now they're sending you junk?
Obviously there are problems that are created by other people, but what about the problems you create yourself? Do you learn from your mistakes, or do the problems and e-mails keep building up so that you're deleting 30 or 40 of them at a time? That is so stressful and time consuming! Sometimes we just need to be more careful. We have to learn to protect ourselves . . . not overprotect ourselves . . . but be cautious. When you really don't find that a friend is reliable . . . ever, don't keep going back to them or they will continuously hurt you. God does want us to forgive others, but I do not believe that He wants us to repeatedly put our emotions on the line. I'm not saying to be unkind to those “repeat offenders,” but you should not allow yourself to be too close to them, or else you make yourself extremely vulnerable.
Also, why are we so quick to delete the junk mail? Why do we spend 2 minutes checking the box and clicking delete instead of a few more minutes to unsubscribe to the e-mails and rid ourselves of the problem altogether? Why do we shrug off the problems, or quickly forgive instead of trying to understand the problem and really fix it? Maybe, before you distance yourself from your unreliable friend, you should try having a real conversation with them and try to understand what it is that makes them act the way they do. Maybe they need help and prayer. Or they could be unaware of what they are doing and your feelings just need to be brought to their attention.
There are some people that will never change, just like there are some companies that don't seem to receive your unsubscribe request. They may need a more stern reply, or they may just need to be continuously forgiven and deleted. But it is so much better to have just a few problems instead of 30.
"Forgive and act; deal with each man according to all he does, since you know his heart (for you alone know the hearts of all men)..."
1 Kings 8:39
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:21-22
My point is not that junk mail contains important information and you should take the time to read them all, but they are like every other problem in life. When you have a problem, do you always think it is someone else's fault? Is it always some snoop at some scamming company hunting down your e-mail address to send you junk? Or did you fall for a trick and apply for some "free" product that was actually a scam, and therefore you gave them your e-mail on a platter, and now they're sending you junk?
Obviously there are problems that are created by other people, but what about the problems you create yourself? Do you learn from your mistakes, or do the problems and e-mails keep building up so that you're deleting 30 or 40 of them at a time? That is so stressful and time consuming! Sometimes we just need to be more careful. We have to learn to protect ourselves . . . not overprotect ourselves . . . but be cautious. When you really don't find that a friend is reliable . . . ever, don't keep going back to them or they will continuously hurt you. God does want us to forgive others, but I do not believe that He wants us to repeatedly put our emotions on the line. I'm not saying to be unkind to those “repeat offenders,” but you should not allow yourself to be too close to them, or else you make yourself extremely vulnerable.
Also, why are we so quick to delete the junk mail? Why do we spend 2 minutes checking the box and clicking delete instead of a few more minutes to unsubscribe to the e-mails and rid ourselves of the problem altogether? Why do we shrug off the problems, or quickly forgive instead of trying to understand the problem and really fix it? Maybe, before you distance yourself from your unreliable friend, you should try having a real conversation with them and try to understand what it is that makes them act the way they do. Maybe they need help and prayer. Or they could be unaware of what they are doing and your feelings just need to be brought to their attention.
There are some people that will never change, just like there are some companies that don't seem to receive your unsubscribe request. They may need a more stern reply, or they may just need to be continuously forgiven and deleted. But it is so much better to have just a few problems instead of 30.
"Forgive and act; deal with each man according to all he does, since you know his heart (for you alone know the hearts of all men)..."
1 Kings 8:39
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:21-22
Lean On Me
Have you ever had a friend make a statement that you knew was true, but never really thought about? When you thought about it afterward, did it really strike you as interesting? I had that happen to me the other night. I had a friend mention that they have been a jerk to me many times, and for some reason I still haven't deserted them. The obvious response to me was . . . duh, you don't turn your back on your friends, you have to be patient with them. When I started to think about it I realized that that is a learned habit. Human nature is, when we've been "walked all over," to turn around and get out of that mess. So what makes us stay? Besides the fact that we need to learn patience and we need to learn to have real conversation where we discuss our feelings and issues...what makes us stay?
For this particular friend, I have stayed for one reason in particular. They really need a friend right now. Not that they don't have any other friends, but they need a really good friend. I do not know why, but God has blessed me with the ability to be a good listener. Seriously . . . I have people who only talk to me when they have a problem. At first, that really annoyed me. I mean, why can't you talk to me because you enjoy my conversation, not just because you want to whine to me? Then, I realized that it was some sort of gift. Having people confide in me is a blessing. It allows them to feel comforted, like they have someone they can trust. It allows me to talk to them and comfort them, to help them work things out, but more importantly, to take it to God for them. I have people I can pray for because they trust me with the intimate, scary, arduous details of their lives. That is a blessing!
So this friend...I knew I had to be there for them. They were stressed beyond belief and faced with difficult decisions that I knew I was not prepared to make (nor would I want to). So I talked to them. Was it difficult at times? Yes, of course. But I didn't stop, because I wanted them to know that they could depend on me. I wanted them to know that I was praying for them and that they could talk to me, I wasn't going anywhere.
I know at times it is difficult to be patient when someone "attacks" you personally. But really...what is the situation? Do you know what they are facing? Do you know what is going on in their life? How much do you think they could use your support and prayers? Sometimes the best thing you can do for anyone is just be available to talk. Sometimes people just need someone to talk them out of something, talk them into something, or talk them through something. It puts your life into perspective for you and can help you to appreciate what you have. Do you have it all that bad? How greatly has God blessed you? You can truly help someone through a simple conversation and a heartfelt prayer. God can use you and change you in miraculous ways if you are open to how He wants to use you to help and minister to others. It can seriously change your prayer life from what you want, to what others need...and isn't that what it's about?
"A friend loves at all times..."
Proverbs 17:17
"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:10
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Proverbs 19:11
"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride."
Ecclesiastes 7:8
For this particular friend, I have stayed for one reason in particular. They really need a friend right now. Not that they don't have any other friends, but they need a really good friend. I do not know why, but God has blessed me with the ability to be a good listener. Seriously . . . I have people who only talk to me when they have a problem. At first, that really annoyed me. I mean, why can't you talk to me because you enjoy my conversation, not just because you want to whine to me? Then, I realized that it was some sort of gift. Having people confide in me is a blessing. It allows them to feel comforted, like they have someone they can trust. It allows me to talk to them and comfort them, to help them work things out, but more importantly, to take it to God for them. I have people I can pray for because they trust me with the intimate, scary, arduous details of their lives. That is a blessing!
So this friend...I knew I had to be there for them. They were stressed beyond belief and faced with difficult decisions that I knew I was not prepared to make (nor would I want to). So I talked to them. Was it difficult at times? Yes, of course. But I didn't stop, because I wanted them to know that they could depend on me. I wanted them to know that I was praying for them and that they could talk to me, I wasn't going anywhere.
I know at times it is difficult to be patient when someone "attacks" you personally. But really...what is the situation? Do you know what they are facing? Do you know what is going on in their life? How much do you think they could use your support and prayers? Sometimes the best thing you can do for anyone is just be available to talk. Sometimes people just need someone to talk them out of something, talk them into something, or talk them through something. It puts your life into perspective for you and can help you to appreciate what you have. Do you have it all that bad? How greatly has God blessed you? You can truly help someone through a simple conversation and a heartfelt prayer. God can use you and change you in miraculous ways if you are open to how He wants to use you to help and minister to others. It can seriously change your prayer life from what you want, to what others need...and isn't that what it's about?
"A friend loves at all times..."
Proverbs 17:17
"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:10
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
Proverbs 19:11
"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride."
Ecclesiastes 7:8
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