Love is Patient, Love is Blind

When I first moved into my apartment on campus and I was living alone, I was roaming around when it occurred to me that just four months before (or so), a married couple had lived in the same apartment. I started dreaming about how lovely it must have been, just the two of them, living on their own in a place they could call home as a wonderful small family. I imagined the pictures they had of them hanging on the walls. You know the kind - black and white, so cute they make you sick - but you can't help but love them. They would have dishes in the kitchen and towels in the bathroom they received as wedding presents . . . and of course a couple of fish to complete their little family.

The problem is that I also imagined their life easier, almost perfect. Obviously that's absolute poppycock, and I knew it. I have only known one couple who seemed perfect, and they even acted like life was easier for them. They're now divorced.

In the real world, marriage is just as difficult as being single/dating, except it's legally binding - which probably makes it more frustrating at times. Being married alters your relationship status; it doesn't alter the rest of your life. If I were married, I would still have school, homework, band, friends, housework, and other miscellaneous activities. Marriage doesn't erase these chores or make them magically less challenging. Then add on top of them the bills, cleaning up after someone else, and having a relationship to work on.

All of this is not to say that marriage isn't worth it. I am a firm believer in marriage, romance, and happiness. But those don't equal a fairytale or perfection. In the song "Try A Little Tenderness," the lyrics state that love is a whole woman's happiness. That's not right, or at least it shouldn't be. In fact, I think if we believe that perfection comes with love, and if we come to expect simplicity and perfection from marriage, we are in for a big surprise.

Love is wonderful. I love love, and being in love. Marriage is wonderful. They are blessings from God. But they are not His only blessings, and we have to be able to find fulfillment in all of God's blessings, not just love.

Marriage takes a lot of work, faith, prayer, and many other things. It is a constant job that should be taken seriously. It is a challenge, but if you go into it sensibly instead of rushing into it for the "perks," it will be worth it in the end, and you won't be disappointed.




"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs–how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world–how he can please his wife–and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."
-1 Corinthians 7:32-35