Prince Charming?

There's this guy I know, sweet as can be, who likes to do everything for me. He opens every door, finds me seats, picks things up for me, wipes off my sweatshirt when it falls in the dirt, walks me to the front door at night....everything. I think it is the sweetest thing, but in our current society men like this are rare and hard to find. I think a lot of that is because of a woman's need to be independent. I struggle with the need to be independent all the time, but when a man goes so far out of his way to be chivalrous, why should I deny him? I am not asking him to do these things for me; he does them willingly because he believes he should. Personally, I think more men should feel like they need to do these things because chivalry (to a point) is important and seems to be dying. I've met too many men who walk by and say "you dropped something" and keep walking. I've met a lot of men who don't look behind them to see if there's anyone to open the door for. Yup...way to sweep me off my feet.

I believe a lack of chivalry has played into my need to be independent, because I've learned NOT to be dependent on boys these days. I rarely find someone who will hold the door open for me, and when I do it feels so special. Special? It should feel normal! I hold the door for people all the time... Girls, why aren't we accepting and encouraging chivalry? Why do we feel the need to do everything on our own? To prove our strength? Oh, there are so many other ways. Succeed at work, study hard, and don’t be emotionally independent. I think we should allow men to do things for us, not because we need it or because it's their job, but because I think it's rewarding on both ends. We may never understand it, but I know so many boys who find thrill and fulfillment in carrying our books, opening doors, and pulling our seats out for us. And it feels very nice to be cared for. Not only does it make me feel cared for, but it lets me know that he is willing to go the extra mile, he can be civil, and he is concerned about my well being.

I'm not saying women are weak, but I do think it is part of a man's role to protect us. We can face a lot of things as women, but there are so many things out of our control. And for a man to step up and take care of us lets us know that he will protect us, we can trust him, and we can rely on his strength.

A lot of what the Bible says about husbands and wives should take place before marriage also. My favorite passage is Ephesians 5:25-33:

"(25)Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (26)to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (27)and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (28)In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (29)After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church - (30)for we are members of his body. (31)For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (32)This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. (33)However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

I really like verses 28-29, because I think chivalry plays into this so much...especially for the married folks. Although we may not be married to (or even dating) the guy who opens the door for us (and therefore not one flesh, nor will he care for us quite as much) . . . it's still important. I just love the word "care" (it's in verse 29). I looked it up in the dictionary, and there are SO many meanings. Go to dictionary.com, you'll see what I mean. My favorite is the second one: "an object of worry, anxiety, concern, etc..." If men care for us, they are worried about our well being. They are concerned about how we are feeling. It's not that men should be constantly stressed and panicked about how us women are holding up today, but it is just a general "I appreciate you, so I care about how you are feeling." How awesome would that be?!

Another extremely important part of this passage is at the very end, verse 33: "and the wife must respect her husband." Amen. How often do you say thank you when someone holds the door for you? How often do you say thank you when someone goes out of their way to do anything for you in general? Manners are important, and a good sign of respect. Since I was already on the dictionary site, I looked up respect. It came up with, "esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability." It couldn't be more fitting. If a man is chivalrous, it is a personal quality that he possesses, and it definitely shows his worth and excellence as a man. So ladies, if a man does wonderful things for you, honor him. Show him your appreciation, and when you thank him, show him how much you mean it. I like to think of the corny old movies when a man opens a door with a big sweeping bow, and the woman thanks him with giggles and smiles that are completely genuine, if not overdone. If a man does something great, you just have to show him that it's appreciated...make it worth his time, don't make it a chore for him.

Although Ephesians 5:25-33 is talking about husbands and wives, we can still use key points from that in our everyday relationships with the opposite sex, whether or not we are dating or married to the person. Encourage chivalry and any gentlemanly act. Also, respect the gentlemen and show them you appreciate them for who they are and what they do for you...because it's really not every day you find that kind of gem.