I Ain't Afraid of Nothin'

Alright . . . so that title is totally false, and I am afraid of plenty! But tonight I’ve been thinking and I’ve realized how much I allow fear to control my life. It's really quite ridiculous. I had an encounter with one of my fears today. Do you ever see advertisements on Facebook for the Christian dating sight, chistianmingle.com? Yes well, I recently decided that I was going to suck it up, make a simple profile, and see who was on there. I didn't plan on talking to anyone or anything like that . . . but I wanted to have the experience. Plus . . . it's a Christian dating site, it's got to be safe, right? Ok, no. I set up my profile this afternoon and took it down tonight. Ha. Some creepy guy started messaging me from the site and he wanted to "flirt." He did all the flirting, and I have never experienced flirting like that ever before! This guy asked me my bra size, what kind of underwear I wear, and if I shop at Victoria's Secret. Gross! So it turns out all my fears of dating sites are legitimate and my profile's gone, the creepy guy blocked, and I am NEVER doing that again.

In all honesty though, that's not what got me thinking about fear. For one of my majors (Spanish) I have to study abroad. Next year, spring semester, I am going to Quito, Ecuador for 15 weeks. I have never been more afraid of anything in my life. I was reading the blog of someone who just went and it sounds truly amazing, but all of the "cons" of Ecuador that she mentioned are the ones that I am most afraid of. I can't even imagine how hard it is going to be to be away for so long from my family and friends, my dog, my car, my church, ONU, and everything else I take for granted. That's only one of my fears. Part of the trip includes traveling through the Amazon jungle and around the Galápagos. Sounds amazing right? It really does . . . until people talk about the snakes, poisonous spiders, activities when the guide has you swimming with SHARKS. I'll be almost surprised if I come back alive. But I know it's something I just have to do. I obviously have to study abroad somewhere in order to graduate. I could go somewhere safer like Spain, or Mexico . . . however, I can do that any time later in my life. The only other time I'm going to have to go to the Galápagos is when I'm really, really rich. I don’t see that happening any time soon. God has thrust this opportunity right in front of me with all the culture, adventure, Spanish, ministry, and beauty I could possibly imagine! What's the worst that could happen? Being bitten by a snake? Jumping in the water and being attacked by a shark? Alright . . . so the stakes are a bit higher in this situation, but I don't think God would give me such an adventure if He weren't going to protect me. Who am I to question His judgment and plan? No one. What else could happen? I could bring someone to Christ. I could meet a great new friend from Ecuador. I could come back to America a changed and better person.

I know sometimes when we're called to do something it can be really difficult. Especially when it deals with something so important and integral in your life or when you cannot really see what the outcome is going to be and whether or not it will positively influence your life. Yes, sometimes it's hard to grab life by the horns when you don't know how rough a ride it's going to be or if you're going to get kicked off or not. But when you're called you just have to suck it up! It's God's plan, not yours! I know it's not what we want to hear, but if it's God's plan for you to die . . . you're going to die. I know it's God's plan for me to go to Ecuador. I don't know if it's God's plan for me to be eaten by a shark. I just hope that if it is, I die quickly (sorry, not funny). I also know that since it is His plan, something fantastic is going to happen - something more than I could ever have imagined - because that's how life is if you follow His will. Life is just good. You don't need to be afraid.




"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."
Psalm 56:3

"Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid, just believe.""
Mark 5:36