Every time I log onto Facebook, I see someone’s status declaring their newest state of depression over some heartbreak or lost love. Some people, I have noticed, go through relationships like I go through rolls of toilet paper. What has happened to our culture that we would find it acceptable to have such flings? More importantly, I suppose, what has happened to our culture that we could be so transparent in our relationships? Not that we should not value honesty in our relationships, of course it is an essential building block for a solid relationship; but should we be so transparent that we can be cut so deeply after a week long “relationship?” How can we be protecting our hearts if we behave in this way?
The fact is that we live in a world of one night stands, meaningless flings, shallow relationships, and pointless hook ups. In our fast-paced society, we do not have time to put in the effort for relationships. They are simply too much work. What’s happening now is that we are trying to speed up the dating process. Whatever it is we want, we want it now. The world today runs on frozen dinners, speed dating, the fast lane, high speed internet . . . basically anything that goes fast. Now we are trying to force that into our relationships. We bear our hearts and souls within the first week before any solid commitment or connection is made, which leaves us entirely volatile. It used to be years and years before a wedding would take place. An engagement used to mean that you had found a person acceptable to marry, not that you were setting a date and time. Nowadays we have drive-thru wedding chapels for anyone who might decide to get married on a whim. How romantic.
The downside, we are seeing, is that the divorce rate is increasing (and quickly, ironically enough). Now a husband or wife can divorce their spouse without rhyme or reason, even the day after the wedding. The deserted spouse is left in the dust, their head spinning, not even knowing what hit them. It’s obvious that we no longer have reverence or respect for our relationships. We are making a mockery of love, trampling all over it as we rush off to our newest flame, pretending the next one will not be short-lived, even though we know deep down it’s as shallow as the one before and the one after if we don’t change our ways.
So, the big question, the question we would rather not think about is . . . What does God think about our flame-of-the-week? What do you think God would have to say to you about your constant trivialization of love? To be honest, I never want to have to talk to God face-to-face about my love life, and how much I have messed it up. I may not have had a boyfriend-of-the-week, but I certainly had boyfriends-of-the-year, which was plenty bad enough. What is truly disappointing (and embarrassing!) is that the divorce rate for Christian marriages is at over 50%. And the divorce rate in Kankakee, where Olivet is located? Oh, only 75%. I am sure our lack of respect for marriage (and a lack of patience to wait for the one He has set aside for us) cuts God deep with sorrow.
So really, what does God say about marriage? “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.” Hebrews 13:4. “A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39. While there is still justifiable cause for divorce, most of the time these days that's just not the case. Marriage is a big deal. And the relationships you begin (and end) before marriage are a big deal, too. Relationships are great to test the waters before marriage, but don't rush into a relationship and don't make yourself too vulnerable too soon. God mends a broken heart, but we must be careful to guard our hearts and not give away too much too soon, because that is one sure fire way to end up hurt. And if we treat our marriage like any old relationship, we'll end up in a never-ending cycle of broken-heartedness.
"You cry out, "Why has the LORD abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other on your wedding day when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her, though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his."
-Malachi 2:14-15
